why do so many "non witness " jws not bother to find out the "truth"

by sosad 19 Replies latest jw friends

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  sosad

  my siblings who have left (3/7 last count) have no desire to talk about or hear about much less read about what the deal is witht the Org our parents decided would bring them everlasting life.

  It is head shaking to me - and I try not to bring it up at all- but when they ask, or it comes up and they are all freaked out about me being interested in it all i just shake my head

  even friends I grew up with in the org have no desire to know - they are just not interested.

  It really makes me feel like a "nerd" sometimes
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  Tyrone van leyen

  I thinks it's a matter of heavy investment and time running out. In the end, the only truth is what science proves, but one does not have to turn into an animal or become evil, because of this fact.

  You are only here for a short time. If you can see the damage of this investment and the toll it takes on families and opportunities in life, it doesn't take science to figure out, that it is not worth accepting someone elses truth, in obedience, with no payoffs.

  Once you've been shunned and cut off, in my experience, your life is pretty much over anyways. Can things get any worse? Yes, life itself can be like that, if you don't do anything to better yourself. What have you got to lose? Why can't people just admit that we don't know the answers to certain questions yet? There is simply to much potential for lies and abuse of power when you start following someone elses idea of what truth is. I have spent enough of my life being maipulated. That's one truth that comes from my heart.

  Perhaps if folks listened more closey to their inner pilot to find out whats wrong, instead of seeking absolutes from the outside world they would find much greater inner fulfillment. Most lack the courage and take the easy route. My two cents anyways.
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  Black Sheep

  Read any book on cult mind control and you will find the answer.
  
  Cheers
  
  Chris
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  Mrs Smith

  My brother faded long before I did, but he doesn't care about finding out the truth about JWs. His ex wife still takes their kids to the meetings and he sees nothing wrong with that! He doesn't want to be a witness but doesn't see anything wrong with the religion. I don't get it.
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  garybuss

  Mrs Smith, you wrote: "His ex wife still takes their kids to the meetings and he sees nothing wrong with that! He doesn't want to be a witness but doesn't see anything wrong with the religion."
  
  That was me for 18 years. My years of "believing walkaway" status were evolutionary. It was maybe like slowly waking up from a coma. At first I saw a LOT wrong, then I got busy with making a living in my 30's and 40's and indifference kind of took over for a few years.
  
  I had an extremely difficult time accepting that all of my family members and virtually all the people I grew up trusting were wrong and I was right. It was an upsetting thought and it meant that those I had seen as enemies because they had rejected the Jehovah's Witness message or attitude were right all along.
  
  Thinking Witnessism was wrong was a thought I had been trained to fear, so just thinking it brought a certain anxiety for years after I quit associating. I knew the Witnesses were rude, controlling, prone to error, insulting, and offensive to me, but I had not challenged the old tapes of flips.
  
  By flips, I mean flips like, "the light gets brighter", "wait on Jehovah", and "we're only imperfect humans". I began my study by topically trying to prove the Witness doctrines were true, one by one. When I was unable to prove one topic, I had to deal with the flips (excuses).
  
  Early on I found my vocabulary was defective. I actually had to relearn the English language word by word. I bought a stack of dictionaries and thesauruses. This was before modern computers.
  
  On the way I accepted my core beliefs were flawed and there was a time I didn't trust my judgement or decisions. My process to challenge my core beliefs took me over 5 years and I ended up reading over 200 books in addition to the Watch Tower Corporation produced pieces.
  
  Admitting my own responsibility in my first wife's early death was a real turning point for me. That was one of my big sacrifices, and of course sacrifices are the golden key to loyalty to a high control group as Leon Festinger so ably pointed out in his work.
  
  So . . . I understand believing walkaways, and I understand very well why I was one. What I don't understand was how I found the strength and courage to challenge every single thing my parents, my teachers, and my friends told me. In the end about all I kept was the multiplication tables. Almost all the rest was garbage.
  
  Of course, just about the last thing to learn about was boundaries. In fact, boundaries might have been the product of my study. Now they're out there like the parameter of a military base.
  
  Great topic! Thanks for starting it Sosad.
  
  
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  sacrebleu

  When my sister was out, she helped me get out. But when my brother would criticize (sp) the JWs she would always take up for them. She ended up going back in.

  I know people who have come out and when I ask them if they are interested in meeting with others who have left or been DF or abused or whatever, they look at me like I am crazy.

  I talked to a pro counselor one time and she surmized it might be they are still running from bad memories. But I think they just don't want to think about how wrong they were.

  But in my experience, if you don't study your history, you might repeat it. I know there are people here who no longer believe in God, but when I read the Bible, I get continual support for leaving the borg with their way of twisting Scriptures and taking them out of context.

  sacrebleu
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  freeme

  i made the same experience. MOST jws and exjws just dont care about the religion at all. some are "in" because they always were and some are out because they dont wanna live with the rules anymore but often think its the right way to live still. THEY DONT CARE! i dont get it either. they live their life without thinking about right or wrong. someone tells them whats right and the maximum they decide is whether they want to do what someone said or not. i would love to follow rules if it would feel right to me and i dont have an intention to break any. im of the worst kind of apostates... i want to find the truth and not sex, drugs and rock'n'roll.

  under JWs there are virtually no bible students anymore. thats my impression and with every gathering/book study i visit this comes clearer and clearer. even the most made up doctrine in the revelation book is swallowed and forgotten in a nanosecond. "next section please".

  braindead, thats what i think about it.

  when it makes me a nerd to think about it im glad to be one :P
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  eclipse

  Someone I love and care about was brought up in the truth, but never took it seriously..

  They don't understand why I talk about the lies and deciet and why the religion bothers me.

  They never had the wool pulled over their eyes like I did...

  They had no emotional investment in it, it means little that this religion turned out to be a farce.
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  megsmomma

  I get totally miffed by this too. I guess for me, I think it would be great for one of my siblings to look into all of it so we can talk about it. hey have no desire to investigate. One believes it still...but, just doesn't want to restrict her lifestyle (at 21) One never really believed it and thinks all religions are bad, and JW's are no worse (he is 24) And one doesn't know what to think, and doesn't have the time to research...likely wouldn't know what to even begin with because she was never really indoctrinated to begin with, and she allows her kids to go to the Hall with our mom.(She is 29) I am the only one DA'd...none of the others were baptised....so they find it easier to just leave it alone.
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  bigwilly

  Over the years since I faded (11-12) I've noticed that there are two very different ways that exdubs deal with their past.

  One group is represented well in this thread, those who's approach is to prove the whole thing wrong. These are the persons that take the time to research, read and educate themselves on the history of jw's and analyze their belief structure. And use what they learn to give themselves the closure they need.

  The other approach is to attempt to never give it a thought. I say "attempt" because this approach doesn't always work. Some people manage to move seamlessly into "the world" and find other ways to heal themselves. Others never quite heal and never deal with what bothers them.

  Both approaches are valid and both work for different people. Personally, I don't need to know all the things that are wrong with the borg. I don't need to prove them wrong to heal or validate myself. Does this make either approach better than the other? No. Does it make either group smarter or better than the other? No. Personal well being can't be neatly classified as right or wrong, it's all about what the individual needs or wants.