Is it POOR PARENTING to raise a child into a religious faith?

by nicolaou 73 Replies latest social family

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  Terry

  You said: None every disrespected me or used bad language in my presence.

  I don't believe any parent can truthfully make that claim. Small children have tantrums and yell at their parents. All children try out bad words now and then for shock value and to see what will happen. Teenagers need to be disrespectful at times. It's part of maturing and separating from the role of child. The key is to help them through the rough stages, not deny it's even happening.

  Never happened. My kids never threw tantrums or ever, ever yelled at their parents. My kids didn't use shock words. They didn't hang out with the "gang" at school. The each had one or two friends who shared their values and had all their socializing through that selective filter.

  You see, I always spent a lot of one on one time with my kids. I took them grocery shopping and gave them each their own shopping cart and a budget for the week and let them choose (to see what worked and what didn't.)

  I never gave them a bedtime. The agreement was this; as long as you get up and go to school you can stay up as late as you like. That is how I was reared. To this day I've never had a problem getting out of bed.

  I gave my kids lots and lots of freedom the way I had growing up. With the freedom I explained the downsides I'd be looking for and told them I had confidence they'd make the right choices as they watched the other kids in the neighborhood and at school crash and burn by contrast.

  I think parents who make tons of rules, shake their finger in their kid's faces and "lay down the law" are lazy and inconsiderate parents. I was never their "buddy" or their "friend" so much as I was the go to guy who had experience in life and who was on their side.

  I spanked each only once! I cried while I was doing it and they could see it tore me up.

  I'm no genius, but; I know what mattered to me when I was young and I've never lost that sensibility.
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  nicolaou

  Good grief! My only point was to question the parental path taken by some to define their child a particular way - Protestant or Catholic, Atheist or Muslim. The labels are not important, the question is whether or not a child should have a label applied to him or not. I say not.

  I have never said that a religious parent equals a poor parent, I have never said it because I don't believe it. However I do believe that insisting your child be a good Mormon or a good Marxist is not a shining example of enlightened parenting.

  I encourage my children to ask questions, lots of them! Perhaps it's the Greek blood in our family but the debates that rage over the dinner table are sometimes extraordinary and I love it. If my daughter decided to 'accept Christ' I know she will have done it after a lot of thought and consideration. It would give us a lot to talk about for sure and I'd still respect and love her. It's unlikely though.

  its difficult reconciling a position where an individual denigrates sectarianism while in the next breath applauds removing all exposure to religion from a child's upbringing

  Straw man argument Ross? Who has asked for such a terrible thing? Aside from its horrors religion has given the world great art, music architecture and importantly many fine values but honesty demands that we acknowledge the injustices and intolerances too. Atheism has its share of despicable adherents also and it is a fine challenge to ask 'cocky godless teenagers' how to explain this.

  Children should be exposed to influences from all sides, carefully. We are still their parents and we know we need to protect them from the vilest persuaders around us. I'm only saying that shutting their minds off to the possibilities of being something other than what we want for them may indeed be poor parenting.

  Nic'
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  LittleToe

  Nic:

  My only point was to question the parental path taken by some to define their child a particular way - Protestant or Catholic, Atheist or Muslim. The labels are not important, the question is whether or not a child should have a label applied to him or not. I say not.

  Ermmm, no it wasn't. Maybe you need to re-read your original post as your memory appears to have failed you overnight

  I encourage my children to ask questions, lots of them! Perhaps it's the Greek blood in our family but the debates that rage over the dinner table are sometimes extraordinary and I love it.

  Scots love it too. Its not just a Greek thang

  If my daughter decided to 'accept Christ' I know she will have done it after a lot of thought and consideration. It would give us a lot to talk about for sure and I'd still respect and love her. It's unlikely though.

  If there's one sure thing its the propesity for children to surprise their parents. Good luck with that one

  Straw man argument Ross?

  Nope. The conversation moved on while you were sleeping

  Children should be exposed to influences from all sides, carefully.

  Agreed.

  I'm only saying that shutting their minds off to the possibilities of being something other than what we want for them may indeed be poor parenting.

  Also agreed. But I would suggest that's a completely different proposition from your original post and thread title. Cheers
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  nicolaou

  Me: "My only point was to question the parental path taken by some to define their child a particular way".

  Ross: "Ermmm, no it wasn't" and "The conversation moved on while you were sleeping".

  Well okay buddy boy, you may have a point there . . . . but . . . . but . . . . well you're just a poopy head!