question for single moms

by BIG D 13 Replies latest jw friends

  • Dorktacular
    Dorktacular

    Big D, I was a single father for 4 years. My daughter was an infant when "The Greatest Mom in The World" left. She doesn't pay any support and never has. She started seeing my daughter again after she was 3. It's a hard job, but it can be done. The thing that I learned was to teach her everything I could as fast as I could. My daughter is now 8 and is almost completely self-sufficient. She likes to help out around the house and she does! The more you can teach the kids to do for themselves (with your supervision, of course) the easier it will be on you. Another thing you can do is to prepare meals in advance. I used to (and still do) prepare the meals for the week on Sunday. I would get stuff pre-prepared and ready to go so I didn't have to do so much when I picked my daughter up from daycare. That way all I had to do was feed her and wash the dishes. I usually did laundry while she was asleep. But, you constantly have to be on your toes to get everything done and at the same time be an attentive parent. I still don't sit down at night until after 10 pm. It does get really lonely being a single parent. When I ended up on my own with an infant daughter, most of my friends and family disappeared. I went a period of 2 years where no one came to my house. I'm not exaggerating. No one. Just the mail man. It takes all of your mental ability to endure the grueling physical requirements of holding down a job (or two), then being a full time parent and taking care of the home. Add to that the sometimes crippling lonliness and lack of sex (!), and it really sucks. I never used a vacation day for vacation, either. I saved up all my sick and vacation days to use when she was sick and couldn't go to school or daycare. I usually went to work sick as a dog so I wouldn't run out of sick days.

    Just keep on keepin' on, dude. It will get better. And the kids will love you for it. Just do the best you can. You can't go wrong by loving your kids and trying to take care of them.

  • snowbird
    snowbird

    A resounding Amen to all who answered.

    I left my husband when my daughter was 3 - she is now 18 and entirely self-sufficient.

    It's true that raising kids seems like a thankless task at times, but to see them turn out to be responsible adults is worth it.

    Hang in there, Bro, those years will fly by. Before you know it, they'll be trying to take care of you!

    Sylvia

  • Gayle
    Gayle

    I raised 5 (2 daughters, 3 sons), their father abandoned us (he still professes JWdom). They are all grown now. All put themselves thru college, last one (1 1/2 yrs to go, putting himself thru on GI loan, via Marines/Iraq). The kids have some JW memories when young but none took to it, thankfully. I had to get rid of the the notion to be mom & dad,,I was reminded you can only be one person, can only do your best. The kids all had to work together to help, no whining, or fighting or we just wouldn't go anywhere. We were extremely busy in school & sports activities majorly, so they had to help & work together. When they were finally grown, then I started to date and married again, a wonderful man (never a JW). I am proud how we made it thru the rain and had a lot of fun anyway and mostly they have their own free minds and can still look back that they had a lot of fun in their youth and to see them quite close to each other as adults.

  • BIG D
    BIG D

    wow, dorktacular, you know exactly what im talking about, except fro me x 3, i think the twins is a little extra work than ordinary.

    big d

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