Hello all,
I am a tip-toeing lurker who FINALLY got the nerve to join & post here about 3 months ago. To review: I'm in a "scripturally" ( at least by JW standards, anyways) separation, hence the apprehension about posting or revealing too much. But, I'm realizing that I'm being a bit TOO paranoid. I'll still be careful though.
Unfortunately, not much progress in being made. We've been separated (her idea) about a year. Upon my request, for the last month, we've begun going to a psychologist who also handles couples therapy. I have mixed feelings about the whole thing, though.
Without getting into all the problems, I've been frustrated by many things regarding myself and where the JW religion is concerned. As I stated in my first post, I have read CoC and read a great deal here, so I am well aware with all the scandals, hypocrisies, etc. (Regarding the WT and specifically the GB's man-made interpretations.)
My main beef now seems to be the psychological mind-set of "putting the truth first", which I seem to be getting from my wife alot lately. They (the GB) have the rank and file SO TIGHTLY wound that they (the rank and file) can't see the marital "forest" for the (GB) trees.
If I was an activist opposer of her going to meetings, service, etc. , I could see the reason to be defensive. Yet, what my wife confuses is the ACT of those activites with ACTUAL WORSHIP.
In the JW world there is SO much emphasis on the meetings and appearances, being there for every single one, etc that they become the perfect excuse not to be there for their spouse, whether it be time, attention, etc. (Sorry about so many "etcs") The actual application of anything learned eludes them.
Of course, I realize that our marital problems are more the reason for these rebuffs, but she uses the "truth" all she can. And it's making me question why I am still trying to at all. And assuming miracle of miracles occurs, the question arises: Do I really want to be in a marriage where I am always going to play second fiddle to the JW truth?