feelings of guilt

confused and lost

As some of you are aware I am in the early stages of doubting the WTS as the only channel of truth.However I am assailed by feelings of guilt.Am I being seduced by the words of disgruntled witnesses or ex-witnesses or am I truly doubting !!Maybe some of you felt this way in the early stages of your "defection" from the WTS.Sometimes I feel as though I am rejecting God and his organization but other times i feel so strongly that the WTS has misled me and is acting to control my "loyalty" by vieled threats of destruction at Armageddon.You see prior to becoming a JW I had no religious affiliations.I knew nothing about the Bible or God.So for 20 yrs I have only known Watchtower teachings and un-learning 20yrs of this is making me so indesicive.Am I doing the right thing or not ? My only solace is prayer.I have prayed to God to show me in some way what the truth really is.I must admit that these prayers have been the most heartfelt I have ever said.Have others felt this way and if so how did they deal with it ?I would truly appreciate some feedback. Thanks,Steve.

fleaman uk

journey-on

Prayer is the key. Quietly and humbly ask that you be guided in your search, then allow the natural flow to wash over you.

If you push one way or the other, you hinder the "guiding force." Allow the guidance with "seeing eyes" and "hearing ears"

and you will eventually have your answer. I firmly....firmly....believe in the science of prayer. Once you ask for guidance

and allow the natural flow, KNOW with FAITH that it will be so. Others will jump all over me for telling you this because

there are a lot of atheists and agnostics on this board. Good people with great hearts and minds, but they don't understand

what I'm talking about and will poo-poo it. But it is real and you will see the results.

ex-nj-jw

Prayer is the key. Quietly and humbly ask that you be guided in your search, then allow the natural flow to wash over you.
If you push one way or the other, you hinder the "guiding force." Allow the guidance with "seeing eyes" and "hearing ears"
and you will eventually have your answer. I firmly....firmly....believe in the science of prayer. Once you ask for guidance
and allow the natural flow, KNOW with FAITH that it will be so. Others will jump all over me for telling you this because
there are a lot of atheists and agnostics on this board. Good people with great hearts and minds, but they don't understand
what I'm talking about and will poo-poo it. But it is real and you will see the results

And while you await god's answer, read and research so that you can make an informed decision as to how you choose to live the rest of your life. Don't take anyone's word for it, figure it out yourself. You will be amazed at how much you can decipher when you look for answers!

Good luck and welcome to JWD

nj

bikerchic

c and l I know how you feel I felt simular when I was exiting and it's all part of the process of dissimulation from a cult.

You see prior to becoming a JW I had no religious affiliations.I knew nothing about the Bible or God.So for 20 yrs I have only known Watchtower teachings and un-learning 20yrs of this is making me so indesicive.Am I doing the right thing or not ?

Here are a couple of things that helped me.

1. Read Crisis of Conscious.

2. Learn all there is to know about the Bible and how it got it's humble beginnings, not from WTS lit!

3. Question God and what you know about him/her.

Guilt is an indicator that you are doing something wrong. I ask is it wrong to read and make educated decisions for oneself? I have no judgements against someone who challenges their intelligence, heck didn't God make us to be intelligent humans? What would God want his creation to do?

journey-on

And while you await god's answer, read and research so that you can make an informed decision as to how you choose to live the rest of your life.

This reading and researching is part of the guiding force. I've had certain books practically jump off the shelf at me telling me I need to

read this! Listen with your intuition and heart, always with the right motive and you WILL find the guidance in your life.

Fleur

have only known Watchtower teachings and un-learning 20yrs of this is making me so indesicive.Am I doing the right thing or not ? My only solace is prayer.I have prayed to God to show me in some way what the truth really is.I must admit that these prayers have been the most heartfelt I have ever said.Have others felt this way and if so how did they deal with it ?I would truly appreciate some feedback. Thanks,Steve.

Hi Steve,

It's really tough. I have found that the best antidote to the guilt of wondering if you're wrong to have doubts is to do your research. Pick the doctrines that have especially bothered you about the JW's and caused you to doubt and research the ever living daylights out of them. Nothing helps to blow guilt away like realizing that you're right- and that even though the WTS says that 2+2=12 that doesn't make it so.

If it's any consolation to you, it really does get better with time. Your just starting down the path many of us here are a little ways down already. Your heart is telling you that something isn't right- and even though you doubt yourself now because it's what you've been told to do- you are not the one you should be doubting.

To quote Captain Jack Sparrow: "Of the two of us I am the only one who hasn't committed mutiny, therefore my word is the one we'll be trusting."

You've been sincere- they have not been sincere, or honest, with any of us. So yours is the word you should be trusting at this point, if you get my meaning.

Keep asking questions. One of two things will happen. Either your doubts will go away- and you'll be happy to be a JW or you will find the answers that your heart seems to know already- and find a new life.

I wish you peace

Esmeralda

p.s. prayer never helped me much. It just seemed like the more I did it, the more I realized that I was really on my own. . .but if it helps you, then by all means, keep doing it. . .

purplesofa

Dear Steve,

Welcome to the Board.

I remember those feelings well. I was up and down, high and low, scared and brave. I took things one day at a time.........took things slow as to not hit a brick wall. I pretty much kept my thoughts to myself other than coming to this board.

I read posts from early on ..........read the Best of........ threads. A huge amount of research has been done already on many questions you need answers for.

As you learn more, God as you know him, may change for you.

I think searching within yourself for what your thoughts and feelings are key. Your inner YOU won't lie to you. When you are at most peace answers come to you

purps

AlmostAtheist

The God of the Bible has shown he's more interested in personal obedience to him, than obedience to any organization. Remember how he reacted when Aaron made the golden calf and told everyone to sacrifice to it? Aaron was the defacto "organization" in Moses' absence, but obeying him brought death at Jehovah's hands.

You're thinking -- Do you think God would want you to think? That seems likely.

The Bible says to "make sure of all things". If you simply accept what you're told, can you really stand before God and say you've "made sure"?

I don't think you have cause to feel guilty here. It sounds like you're being obedient.

Dave

Gopher

In your earlier posts, you mentioned that you're beginning to sow seeds of doubt in your wife. Is she farther along in her thought process, or is she still wholeheartedly devoted to the organization? No doubt part of your difficulty is due to the fact of how much you care about your wife and want her to come with you for the journey.

Also you posted your serious reservations about the 607BCE date, which the WTS falsely claims as the historical basis for its 1914 doctrine. That's important because the whole premise of the WTS authority is based on their idea that Jesus somehow chose them as his true religion in 1919 (in spite of the fact that almost everything they believed in then has been cast aside). So the foundation of their authority is based on mystical invisible events and on dates with no historical foundation.

Sounds like a "solid foundation built on the rock-mass"? Probably not.

Almost every doctrine they've built can be broken down and shown to be a logical fallacy. the main thing holding their adherents is loyalty, fear and social conditioning. Not "truth".

feelings of guilt

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