by Mrs Smith 29 Replies latest jw experiences
I am so glad I never felt obliged to take my kid to any meetings. Jeez! Life is challenging enough without that crap.
I'm so glad for those who had sense to get out or to remember that kids have to be kids. Maybe things are changing a bit since I had to attend.
I'm also glad for those who got out and tried to make things right with their kids, and admitted their mistakes. We've all made them. I feel there's hope afterall.
My parents would beat us in the back room. One time I remember taking the whole row of chairs that were all connected with us, as my dad was dragging me screaming don't beat me. My dad did have anger issues though. My parents got baptized when I was 3. From then on I wasn't allowed to fall asleep. They would hit me for that. No food was allowed in the hall for me and my brother. Even other sisters in the hall would smack us for turning around. And my parents let them... I remember getting hit all of the time out in service too. Wow ... Strange to think of how abused my brother and I were .. oh well
Thank you all for sharing! I'm glad it's all over now. No meetings for us.
We were raised in the "old" WT mindset. Children were to sit quietly, no toys, no books (besides the WT) no food, no nothing. We were raised that way, we raised our kids that way. We were expected to.
I feel so sorry now that I was so hard on my kids. It is inhuman to expect children to sit still for 2 hours or for 8 to 10 at the assemblies we went to.
I was like this too. They had to sit quietly like zombies. Giving them toys and food was a big no-no. Now I realize that is is a form of cruelty, especially when even the adults are bored out of their head after 30 minutes, which is probably one of the reasons the Public Talk is to be reduced in time.
No, but i was a child at meetings (never will i take mine).
Man, i remember getting the sh*t beat outta me the most......
This brings back some memories. I remember that a few years before I left the JWs, while being an elder, another elder gave a local needs talk based on an KM article. He stated that noone should eat and drink at meetings, and whereas this applies well for adults, it was the culture in our congo to allow children to get their evening meal at the hall on tuesday nights, after all, they were kept there longer than their normal time being awake. I remember I was so angry that I called him up after the meeting, stating that this was absolute out of the question... I even stated, and that is pretty frank when you are an elder: I am happy that I was not raised as a JW when I was a child... A bit childish though. I guess he never forgave me for my outburst... I, however, got bad conscience for my outbearst, and tol the PO about it... He agreed with my sentiments on the matter, albeit not he way it was said though. So good to be out, no longer thinking about people taking offense and that kind of stuff.
I got in as a teenager. I stopped going when my little girl was about 2 and the elders kept giving talks about beating them for not sitting still. I was not about to. The one time I gave her a little love pat (as my mom used to call them) I was ashamed the next day when I realized she had been cutting a tooth, so not her usual sunny self.
I remember one baby got dropped off the changing table onto a concrete floor and one died of sunburn at an assembly.
The Society definitely is NOT good for children. Parents don't have time for kids and service too.
sacrebleu
He remembered the puzzles I bought him to play with during the meetings.
He remembered that I packed a sandwich and some juice for him to eat in case he got hungry.
That is precisely why the WTBTS stipulates that its not theocratic to allow your child to focus on things not discussed at the meeting - because all he can remember is the puzzles and great food you prepared for him and not the 'fine spiritual food' Big J and the Great Mother have provided!
My parent used to beat the shit of me to for being restless - when I screamed at the hall and everyone heard she made sure she did it at home where nobody could hear the screams. She just used to whisper in my ear whenever I misbehaved, 'thats one smack you will get when you get home'. I once got so many she actually had to ask me how many we had reached when I got home - apparently she lost count.
I also have fond memories of her forgetting to 'discipline' me until the next day - I got an extra one for not reminding her!
Still spare the rod, spoil the child!
Gary /|\
Unfortunately I never had children of my own (at least I never had to indoctrinate them). But, I have helped babysit children that belonged to the only "elder" that was even close to decent. The two youngest were quite active, and I would have all sorts of goodies for them to play with. At a$$emblies, I would let them explore the hall so they at least would have their curiosity satisfied to some extent. Then, when someone else took them, they had to just stand still. That was not fair: I feel I could run around with someone that is barely 2 years old and make a sacrifice in personal comfort for their learning and to give them a little fun.
This went on until the other hounders stepped in and started making so many rules that targeted everything I was doing to keep those children at least somewhat happy. As it was, I have reason to believe that I was the only reason they didn't dread the meetings altogether. Then the hounders went in and wrecked it. I can only hope those children are now apostates, and remember at least vaguely what happens when someone genuinely cares for any of the flock.
You're supposed to make them sit still in the chair, paying attention. That was impossible for my little boy or any other child. I got all these suggestions, like giving them a magazine and have them circle "Jehovah" on each page or color the pictures. (Be sure to only let them use a pencil so the KH doesn't get pen or crayon marks on the chairs and carpet). Right, like that's going to keep children occupied for two hours. You can see and feel the judgemental attitudes about being a good JW based on how your children behave during the meetings. I have to admit, I buckled under the pressure and started using the wooden spoon in the ladies room. Sisters would smile at you because you were doing the right thing. "Train up a boy" was the favorite scripture. I wasn't proud of it at all and it made me sick that they never provided anything like Sunday School for the kids. They would rather laugh while you are taking your unruly child down the aisle, knowing he or she was going to get a spanking. So I started to stay home so I wouldn't have to put my son through it. When he got older, he got better at sitting. Then we'd get lots of compliments on how he sits and listens so well.
It wasn't until I went through it myself with my son that I finally understood why so many families in my past had stopped coming to the meetings. How are you supposed to teach a child to love God with all this going on?
When I quit, I apologized to my son for what I put him through. Fortunately, young children are very forgiving. He just told me that it was okay, I didn't know better.
