Al Gore decides to try riding a motorcycle, even though he has had no lessons or prior experience. He mounts the motorcycle uninstructed, turns it on & it immediately roars into motion. As it moves along faster & faster, Al begins to fall from the seat. In terror, he grips tightly on the handlebars, but can't get a firm grip. He tries to throw his arms around the motorcycle's gastank, but he slides down the side of the motorcycle anyway. Finally giving up his frail grip, he tries to leap off the motorcyle & throw himself to safety. Unfortunately, his foot has become entangled in the exhaust pipes, he is now at the mercy of the motorcycles roaring wheels as his head is struck against the ground, over & over. He is moments away from unconsciousness when, to his great fortune, Wendell, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees him & unplugs the motorcycle.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
The Sheriff in a small town walks out in the street and sees a blond
cowboy coming down the walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun, and his
boots, so he arrests him for indecent exposure.
As he is locking him up, he asks 'Why in the world are you dressed like
this?
The Cowboy says, 'Well, it's like this, Sheriff. I was in the bar down
the road and this pretty little red head asks me to go out to her motor home
with her. So I did. We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me
to pull off my shirt ... so I did. Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me
to pull off my pants ... so I did. Then she pulls off her panties and asks
me to pull off my shorts ... so I did. Then she gets on the bed and looks
at me kind of sexy and says, 'Now go to town cowboy'.
And here I am.
<
<
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Son of a Gun, Blonde Men do exist.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven.
At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been such a good man and your
motorcycles have changed the world, your reward will be to hang out with anyone you want in Heaven."
Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God."
St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room and introduced him to God.
God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so you were the one who invented
the Harley-Davidson motorcycle?"
Arthur said, "Yeah, that's me."
God commented, "Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable,
makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road?"
Arthur was apparently embarrassed, but finally spoke, "Excuse me, but aren't you the inventor of woman?"
God said, "Umm, yes."
Well," said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention:
1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion;
2. It chatters constantly at high speeds;
3. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much;
4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust;
5. And the maintenance costs are outrageous!!"
Hmmm, you may have some good points there," replied God, "Hold on."
God went to his Celestial super-computer, typed in a few words and waited for the results.
The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.
"Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed," God said to Arthur, "but according to these
numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours."