1. "Seven Habits of Highly successful Dock Whores"
2. "A Spiritual Solution to that Rash on Your Thigh"
3. "Move the Fuck to Florida Already: A Commonsense Approach to Seasonal Affecive Disorder"
4. "I'll give You Something to Cry About!" - Insights and Inspiration from Alcoholic Dads
5. " A Box facing South East - Feng Shui for the Homeless"
6. "Anal Only: Raising Your Teen as a Technical Virgin"
7. "Shittin' Pretty - How to get rich as a Drug Mule"
8. "Yesterday Was Yesterday: Living Each New Day as if You Hadn't Already Ruined your Life"
9. "No Nonsense Investment Tips From an Assistant Manager at Radio Shack"
10. "Really, Must You?...Sex After 70"