tall penguin wrote: "Does it matter how tied in you were to the beliefs? Did it affect the level of healing you needed on leaving?"
Yet, when I left in my mid-20s, the trauma was intense. Major depression, suicidal, 6-week hospitalization, long recovery.
My answer to your questions is that it depends on your personality, what's going on at the time you consider leaving, how much of your life revolves around JWs -- employed by them, married to one, whether the whole family is in or just you.
Your questions are interesting -- if you did an impartial survey, there might be some very revealing findings.
Does it matter whether you bought into it?
by tall penguin 13 Replies latest jw friends
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parakeet
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Dorktacular
I was born into the Organization. It was hard leaving because of family and friends that I had. It wasn't a question of faith or belief. I left because I knew it was wrong. There are still issues, mostly regarding my nonexistant childhood, but for the most part, I'm ok. The sooner you slap yourself in the face and make yourself realize that you have to be your own person, the quicker you adjust and learn to live as yourself, not as a JW robot.
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Finally-Free
I bought into it completely. I sent all my friends packing, as well as my "worldly" fiance when I converted to being a JW. I barely tolerated my non JW family. I pioneered™ and married a pioneer™, choosing not to have children so we could "put kingdom interests first". Today I don't trust anyone or anything. I can't even have someone say "have a nice day" to me without me looking for some underlying deception or manipulation.
W
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tall penguin
I find these comments interesting. There doesn't necessarily seem to be a consensus on whether the level of faith affects the healing process. Perhaps it comes down to how we handle betrayal and abandonment in general, which may have to do with other experiences we've had, not just those related to being a jw. It's a rather complicated dynamic, as any abuse is.
It also seems to be the question of resiliency, which has been studied in many abuse cases, the question of why some people seem to be able to bounce back after childhood abuses and others seem to be adversely affected through their whole life. I would imagine there are a number of factors here including genetics, learned responses to stress, personality, etc.
worldtraveler: "Is your marraige dissolution the result of leaving the cult? If so , why?"
We weren't married. And really I'm not sure why we broke up. A number of issues, some of which I believe are related to his "getting over" the cult experience faster than myself and his wanting time to see the world with his "new eyes".
tall penguin