What is the key that unlocks the mental grip of the WT? (page 3)

KW13

I dont personally feel that knowledge is what starts the process of 'unlocking' the mind of a JW - i agree with an above poster that if you drop out of meetings and free your mind for even a little while the 'brainwashing' begins to wear off a little and you find yourself in a different space, thing is i think that a witness either sub-consciously or consciously must want to leave before it happens first. They all know deep down its lies, which is why they protect it at all costs because accepting what you built your life on is lies means starting again and the loss of something special, maybe even everlasting life which answers all things, even things without answers 'nevermind at least we'll live forever'.

dust

My wife used to be a JW. She went to a convention one summer, but hadn't been to the KH for some months because she had moved.

She tells me that even during this convention (only a few months after her last visit to the KH) she felt that the convention was just plain boring.

Anyway, she met me (not a JW) a few months later, and one year after the mentioned convention we were persuaded by her parents to go to the next convention. She had now been outside the grip of continuous indoctrination for more than a year, and I had asked her quite a few small questions about the religion of the JWs, and those questions kind of forced her to think on her own (even though this specific religious de-programming was not consciously intended by me).

After this convention she told me that everything just seemed illogical. She almost couldn't believe that earlier she would have nodded and agreed with everything. Now she saw that the Bible verses referred to didn't support any of the claims that they were used to support. And now she saw the inconsistency in the reasoning.

So it seems that staying away from the continuous indocrination is one of the keys. Another key is to -- for any reason -- be forced to think on your own. And when there is noone to tell you what to think, then you are in effect forced to think on your own. And especially if your boyfriend wants you to have your own opinions (about everything: cars, food, TV shows...) and not just mirror him. ;)

Note the "about everyting" part. I don't know how many times I asked her to disagree with me or at least have an independent opinion instead of just agreeing with me because I had the same opinion (so, agree if you conclude to agree, but don't agree just to agree). You see, I had already got a glimpse of her as a person, and I thought that she was marvellous! I wanted to see more! Eventually she felt that it wasn't dangerous to be herself and form her own opinions. Wow! I just had to marry her!

blondie

I find inactive jws that are still loyal to the organization. They haven't been to a meeting for several years yet.......... Don Cameron's book Captive to a Concept, helped me see that as long as these people still think that God is working through the organization, it is hard to budge them. It is a short book that might be worth reading and seeing if there are any techniques that might help pry them loose, that the Borg does not live up to the scriptural standards. That they can have a relationship with God and Christ without going through a human organization. Adam, Abel, Enoch, Noah, his sons, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, his sons, did not need an organization.

Blondie

LennyinBluemont

Yes, Blondie, I completely agree, that without knowledge, the hold continues - for years - even without any meeting attendance. I went back to a former Bible Study who never got baptized and hadn't been to a meeting in two years - to tell him about some of the things I had discovered, especially the UN affiliation. I felt I needed to let him know I no longer recommended the life course I had recommended to him when I was an active JW. Even though never baptized, and even though no meetings for over two years - he told me in a phone conversation several days later, that he almost stood up and asked me to leave his home!!! Such was the grip this concept still had on his psyche! It was still God's organization to him! And I was speaking against it. Never mind that I had served loyally for decades within the org and he had never even joined it! But when he spoke with another former elder he had studied with in GA, he was advised to listen to me! That turned him around. Then he read COC. So again, a general pattern to unlock the grip seems to be: 1.) Being away from meetings for a significant period of time (whatever that means for that individual) followed by 2.) Powerful information to demonstrate the very difficult to accept fact that they have been conned. It's true, as we all know. Contemplating leaving the org when you're in, is like contemplating stepping out into the nothingness. Once you're free of the constant drone of the meetings for a period of time, your mind starts to peek outside the box. Once that happens, if you stumble across the right information, the fog will clear and you will see a new way. Exit is accomplished. Otherwise, you will remain in the fog, clinging to the concept, neither fish nor fowl.

moshe

I really think it’s the meetings.

Over 30 years ago our KH was trying to build a new KH and it was not finished in time before we had to vacate our old building so the elders decided to eliminate all the meetings except the Tuesday night book study. We were in the new KH in about a month, but everyone noticed how much their attitude changed. People were happier with just the little discussion group. I was a MS and had a bookstudy and nobody ever complained about giving up all that "meat in due season" every week. I really think that had this gone on for a couple more months they might have had an empty KH when it was finally finished. There is a reason for the quick builds.

Rabbit

I think "the key" is...something about JWism...has to get very personal.

That sounds simple, but, in reality it's very complicated. It can be the lack of real love, shunning, control, doctrines, boredom, blood issues or combination of all kinds of different things for each person.

Once it gets personal...we have the strength to let go of meetings, one at a time. JW's loved to use the illustration about "Holding on for your life...with all 5 digits of your hand. How well could you hold on, if, you let the world pry off each of your fingers...one at a time ?" The 5 meetings each week corresponded to 5 fingers.

Rabbit

J-ex-W

I really think it’s the meetings. What do you think?

Meetings and, really, being kept too exhausted by trying to keep up with the whole routine to critically think...much less to have the energy to pursue other avenues of thought processes or personal interests.

White Dove

They abandoned me out. I began seeing the lack of love.

choosing life

Breaking away from the pattern of being a jw is the first step to leaving it all behind. The constant activity is there for a reason and that's to keep one from having time to really contemplate things.

This has to be followed up with knowledge and careful thought, as we all know walkaway believers who have not been in a hall for ages. Yet, they will defend the teachings to the end.

The third step is to start creating a life outside the organization. The more you are around normal people, the more you realize how abnormal the jw relationships are. If a person can successfully do these three things, the chances are very good they will never return to the mind control of the borg.

I know, this is all easier said than done. But, as Purps said, we are the pioneers.

willyloman

This thread contains some really good advice and commentary on the fade process. A classic post.

What is the key that unlocks the mental grip of the WT?

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