by Iron Rod 24 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
I think the worse for me was just the fact that you were watched 24/7. If not by human eyes then the eyes of God. Whether it was feeling guilty, or trying to measure up. We were literally like robots, no say, no thoughts, no actions nor pleasures..... based on what WE wanted. How controlling was that? I could go on, but 'nuf said.
LINDA
I remember a certain public talk "The Eyes of Jehovah Are on You" or something like that. It's like, don't even try to do anything on your own, Jehovah or his holy spirit will bring it out.
I should have seen that people were getting away with stuff all the time in that organization, and that the most important thing is to APPEAR righteous. Yes, always put your best foot forward.
There was also TYRANNY of AUTHORITY. You were supposed to be grateful to have learned everything at Jehovah's table (the organization). It made you fearful to make any decisions without checking to see if it was okay.
I grew up without basic decision-making ability.
I heard independent thoughts by a ministerial servant and a scholar-type JW in my early adulthood. Their points always stayed with me, but I didn't get out till I was given a hard shove out of the organization (DF'd). I finally "got it" after that, that I had to think for myself and start making my own decisions and I'd be okay.
I didn't have doubts until after I had been disfellowshipped. I was a sinner y'all. Just recently, about the time I joined this board, I decided to find out what was going on about the "this generation" idea because I'm pretty good at math and it seemed like those folks were getting pretty old. The big A was always in the back of my mind. I never researched the JW history before this. Now my eyes are opening up pretty wide.
Scripture says we all fall short in the eyes of God,..we're never gonna live up to the highest standards of God, we're sinners. I learned this early on in Christianity. Although this is not a license to do whatever you want, it eases the overbearing feelings that you have described here. Some of the great ones in the OT & NT fouled up big time right? As males, you worried about masturbating or not, but God used a cold blooded killer to love others in Christianity.
Feartacticsarama!
That's the WTS.
Thanks for all your great comments. I identified with so many of the feelings that you all expressed. I suppose thats not surprising since we were all victims of the same mind control techniques. I would however like to apologize for bringing up a topic that elicited bad feelings for some. I should have considered that possibility before I broached the subject. One day at a time.....
Thanks again.
