I tried to read the entire article, honest.. But, my eyelids kept closing.. I couldn't read the whole thing.
Oh well, I guess it makes a good natural sleep aide...
Always look for the positive in things!!! See, now we have found a real purpose for WT literature.. It can put people to sleep faster than any sleep aide...
SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING:
Using WT literature has been deemed an FDA approved method of getting a good nights sleep, however, caution MUST be observed when using this method, as misuse can result in serious, possibly even life-threatening side effects..
* First, get cozy in bed..
* Turn on a reading lamp, prefereably one with a timer that will automatically shut itself off after 15 minutes, as if the treatment works properly, you will be in a deep slumber in 15 minutes, and be unable to turn the lamp off yourself
* Begin reading any page of a WT..
Within 1 minute, you should begin to notice your eye lids becoming heavy, your brain beginning to say, "Huh?" and a little voice in your head saying, "Run .. Run like the wind... These people are nuts".. Shortly thereafter, you should experience the beginning of REM sleep.
DISCONTINUE USE IF ANY OF THESE SYMPTOMS OCCUR:
* While reading the sleep aid, you become angered and want to 'show' them that they are wrong.. While this is ok, and is in general a natural reaction, this certainly does not foster sleepiness. Discontinue use of product for sleep aide, however, with just a little ingeinuity, I'm sure you can find other SAFE uses for this product.. (Learning to recognize brainwashing techniques, spotting circular logic, or even simply starting a campfire are all good and safe uses for the product, even if you determine that the product does not serve you as a sleep-aide..)
* If you find yourself reading the WT and not generating any "Huh? or Run like the wind" feelings, but are somehow compelled to keep reading, and it actually begins making sense, SEEK IMMEDIATE PROFESSIONAL ASSISTANCE.. YOU ARE SUCCEPTABLE TO BRAINWASHING!!!!
* If you keep reading just so you can answer the numbered questions by reciting previously pointed out answers in article itself, you need to get a life!!!! In real life, answers aren't given to you 2 seconds before a question is asked!!!! (unless you are trying to cheat, or be brainwashed into thinking you know the answer in the first place)...
* If you begin ANY chanting at all, you are possessed.. You may be past professional help, but what the hell, try it anyway!!!! Talking to little smurf like people have seemed to produce the best results in these cases, however, your mileage may vary!!!
