Tell me a story

by JH 8 Replies latest jw friends

  • JH
    JH

    Tell me a story related to JW's of course...hehe

    Gossip away !!!

  • JH
    JH

    An EX JW who lives close by, told me a few days ago, that when he was an active JW, he used to play lotto every week, and never missed an occasion to sleep with a woman..... He even said that he paid for prostitutes once in a while.

    He told me that when he went to the motel, a few times he saw JW's but not with their spouse. so I asked who?, and he didn't want to make trouble....that's the way he is. Then he said to me, "the JW's are just like other people".

  • serotonin_wraith
    serotonin_wraith

    Once upon a time there were 6 million fools who believed the end was near.

    The End...

    The End?

    The Ennnnnnnnd...

    De End..?

    THIS must be the end-

    THE END??!

    But The End never came.

  • Lloyd Braun
    Lloyd Braun
    Then he said to me, "the JW's are just like other people assholes".

  • changeling
    changeling

    One day a little rat with very bad teeth went to visit a Kingdom Hall. He snuck in when an overweight, rather smelly sister, was waddling slowly through the front door. He quickly scurried through the lobby staying close to the baseboards and made his way into the main hall. Once there, he was able to make his way all the way to the platform by running throught the rows of chairs.He found a little room on the side of the stage, with vacuum cleaners and spare flourescent light bulbs. "A perfect place to hide and listen to the meeting", thought the little rat.

    After a few minutes the meeting got under way. First there was a song. The music was rather pretty, and as none of the voices were very good, but were rather loud, the little rat felt free to sing along. He sang and did a little dance in the safety of his dark closet. Then they said a prayer and the meeting started in earnest. The little rat soon found himself dozing off as the speaker for the day spoke in a rather monotonous tone. Suddenly, his tiny ears perked up! "What's that he said? All animals will live in peace? Lions will lay with sheep? Baby humans will play with cobras?" "Does this apply to rats?", he wondered. "Will I be free from the dread of having a cat or dog rip me to shreds?" "Yipee!", shouted the rat. "I like this religion, I think I'll become a Jehovah's Witness".The little rat could hardly wait for the meeting to be over so he could go find and elder and "sign up".

    After the final prayer, the rat peeked out from his closet. People were milling around everywhere. Small children were sitting on the steps of the platform. Now, this rat was not born yesterday; he knew he could not dash out from his closet and run amongst the people without creating a ruckus. So, he waited till most of the people had gone home. He noticed that several important looking men with large boxy book bags were going into a small room at the back of the hall. The rat quickly scurried along the wall, caught up with one of the men and jumped into his book bag. "I'm so clever", thought the rat. "Surely, these important looking men are elders and I'll be able to plead my case to them. They will take pity on my loathsomeness and be impressed by my sincerity and will alow me to join their group. Then I'll be able to live in the paradise were cats and dogs won't torment me".

    After a few minutes the door to the back room was closed. It seemed as everyone had arrived for this little meeting after the meeting. The little rat peeked out from the book bag and counted a total of five men. Just then, the owner of the bag he was hidding in, reached in the bag and pulled out a black book. The rat had to plaster himself to the side of the bag so as not to be discovered before he was ready to plead his case.

    The men exchanged pleasantries and then got on with the business at hand. "So, brothers, what have we decided to do with Sister Animal Lover who never cleans her house?", said the man with the florescent pink tie. "Well, she certainly brings reproach on Jehovah's name with that yard full of overgrown grass. Everyone on 10th St. knows her as that 'crazy witness lady'" said the one in the blue paid suit. "10th St.?" thought the rat, "I live on 10th St.". "I hear her home is overridden with rodents, even with all her cats, she has so many nooks and crannies in that old place, it's a perfect haven for varmin. Maybe we could get brother Pioneer Pest Exterminator to pay her a visit". "Excellent idea, George," said pink tie man, "I'll set something up tomorrow. And if the sister doesn't go for it, well reprove her publically." "Sounds like a plan", chimmed in yet another man, "serves her right".

    Well, the little rat was now trembling in the book bag, and the fake leather was making him itch. "I live in that house! That old lady leaves seeds and bits of cheese out just for me! She's the reason I'm here! She's too old and sick to leave her house, but I know she used to come here when she was well. I wanted to see what a nice lady like her believed. I need to get out of this book bag and run home and warn all my friends!"

    As soon as the man walked out of the Kingdom Hall, the little rat jumped out, and ran accross the parking lot towards home. The man saw the rat pop out and dropped his bookbag in disgust. "Yuck! A rat! How'd he get in my book bag!" The rat made it home in record time and warned all the rats, mice and squirrels that made their home in the old lady's house. They all vacated the premises promply and set about finding new homes.

    The little rat settled in an old abandoned warehouse. It was an OK place to live, but he missed all his old friends. He never went back to the Kingdom Hall. He tried not to think about his horrifiing expereince. But he often wondred: "In paradise, when rats no longer have natural predators, will the world be ruled by rats or will Brother Pioneer Pest Exterminator still have a job?"

    Is this what you meant by a "story", JH?

    changeling

  • JH
    JH

    I love it

    More more more, I want more stories.

  • sweetstuff
    sweetstuff

    I loved it too Changeling!!!

  • greendawn
    greendawn

    There was a JW ministerial servant who when he reached the age of 40 he dumped his children and attractive but aging wife who was of a similar age and run away with a 20 year old girl friend. He married with her, started a new family and now has two more children.

  • tula
    tula

    Changeling, with every story you seem to outdo yourself.

    This is excellent literary work.

    Maybe you could put them into a collection as "Bible Stories for JDubs".

    Really, you amaze me.

    Enjoyed very much. Write us more.

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