FOR A GOOD TIME... CALL

by tula 20 Replies latest watchtower bible

  • tula
    tula

    The Elders outlawed barbie dolls when they found out about the collection. She had "trailer trash barbie" and "hooker barbie" and a few other of that new series.

    The elders haulded her into court and made her watch as they allowed some bad brothers to tie barbie to the stake and burn her as a heretic.

    It was a warning to all of the little girls.

  • tula
    tula

    things the elders did always gave her bad dreams.

    her dreams often symbolized how she really felt.

    Well, if she was going to be eaten alive by these terrors imposed on her...

    well, by damn! she would give them a BIG mouthful to swallow! So she ate. More and more......

    to console herself.

  • changeling
    changeling

    On the way back up the hill, Tula realized she had gotten dirty. Dragging and heaving bodies is not a tiddy endeavor. Being a kid though, her first recourse was to lick her hands to wipe her face. When she did, she discovered that her hands had a delicious taste. She realized with horror that she must be tasting the flesh of the roasted CO! She quickly ran home and took a hot shower and rubbed her skin almost raw with a washcloth to get the scent and taste of the CO off her skin.

    When her dad came home with the pig he wondered why the fire pit was extinguished. He went to find Tula and reprimanded her harshly for letting the fire die out. He was too pressed for time to ask for an explination (a fact Tula was quite grateful for), and he set about getting the fire going again and roasting the pig.

    As the friends started to arrive, everyone wondered where the CO was. They all figured he was taking a long nap with his wife, as neither had emerged from their (Tula's) room.

    By nightfall, Tula's mom was starting to feel alarmed, so she ever so gently knocked on the CO's door. When she failed to get an answer,she called her husband. He too, knocked to no avail. He decided to carefully open the door just a crack. He looked over at the double bed and there lay Sister CO flat on her back, mouth open wide. He and his wife rushed into the room and took the elderly woman's pulse. She was dead as a doornail. They immediately called an ambulance, which took it's time getting to such a remote location. By the time they had arrived,all the friends had heard the news and were weeping and wringging their hands and wondering were the CO had gotten to.

    After the emergecy team had carted poor Sister CO off to the funeral parlor, another team was sent to search for the CO. There was not much they could do in the dark in the middle of Wyoming. At the crack of dawn they set out once again and by early aftrenoon they found a carcass of a large man, lying at the bottom of the hill, licked clean by wild life. It was assumed hereafter that the CO had risen from his nap, and grief stricken by finding his wife dead, had wandered outside, tripped, and fallen over the hill to be eaten by bears.

  • changeling
    changeling

    Tula was a once relieved and mortified at the outcome. She had not even been considered as a suspect in the death of the CO, which was a good thing, but she now carried the burden of being the only person alive who knew the truth. So Tula did what she always did in stressful situations. She ate. She had a new found liking for roasted meat of all kinds. She found this both tantalizing and repulsive.

    Over the years this experience was always at the back of Tula's mind. She had nowone she could confide in, as her parents would have been horrified and going to a professional therapist was a thing of Satan. So Tula just ate her fears and emotions away.

    She found that whenever anyone was rude to her, or acted like a bully, she would fantasize about how they would taste if they fell into a pit and were roasted. What if she sprikled them with rosemary and served them up with sweet potato casserole?

  • changeling
    changeling

    Ok guys: I'm tired and this is getting way too long. Tula hasn't even grown into Kristie Alley yet.

    Somebody else step in and finish this one.

    By the way, in case you are wondering, though I've borrowed some people and incidents of my past, this is not an autobiography. I've never been to Wyoming.

    changeling

  • tula
    tula

    Stolen transgenic pigs become sausages

    • 19:00 25 July 2001
    • From New Scientist Print Edition

    Meat from transgenic pigs destined for destruction was turned into sausage and eaten by at least nine people in Florida. It may be the first time people in the US have eaten genetically modified meat.

    Florida prosecutors have launched an investigation into the incident, which began when a University of Florida employee stole three dead experimental pigs. Unaware of the meat's origin, a butcher made sausages from it. Helen Griffin, who ate about five pounds (2.25 kg) of the sausages with a friend, thought they "tasted real good".

    No ill effects were reported, but officials at the National Institutes of Health are nevertheless trying to work out if the meat was a health risk.

    The pigs had been genetically modified to carry a copy of the rhodopsin gene, which is involved in eye function. Philip Collis, a biosafety officer at the university, says it is unlikely the rhodopsin gene could have made the meat dangerous.

    Barbiturate injection

    If there was any concern, says Collis, it's that the pigs had been injected with barbiturates before they were killed. The drug could have triggered an adverse reaction in those eating the meat.

    However, the event seems to be an isolated one. "This is the only case of its kind we know of," says NIH spokesman Donald Ralbovsky.

    Still, University of Florida officials are ensuring that in the future, GM animals are spray-painted after being killed, so it's clear they should not be eaten, says Collis.

    Freak incidents aside, government agencies are beginning to look at the imminent introduction of GM animal products into the human food supply. A new committee at the National Academy of Sciences, formed at the request of the Food and Drug Administration, will meet later in 2001. The FDA is urging GM food researchers to cooperate with the agency.

    http://www.newscientist.com/article.ns?id=dn1074

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Unbeknowst to the family, they ended up with one of these pigs. The pig roast was held, after all, and served after the funerals.

    Tainted pigs show up in sausage at funeral


    - Tainted pork from genetically altered pigs stolen from the University of Florida showed up in sausage served at a funeral in High Springs, university police said.

    For months, university officials said they had recovered and incinerated all of the meat from the experimental pigs stolen in January.

    But police said the meat from the pigs, which had been genetically altered and injected with enough barbiturates and chemicals to kill a 500-pound pig, was ground up and made into sausage by a butcher in High Springs, finally making its way to a funeral service there.

    Kenny Atkins was fired from his position as an animal technician there after admitting to stealing three of six dead pigs that were to be incinerated.

    Atkins gave two of the pigs to Norman Blake of Alachua and sold one for $65 to Joe Darling of High Springs. Dave Washington, the butcher who dressed Blake's pigs, told university police he made sausage from the meat, kept some and brought some to a funeral dinner. He said he and his brother sampled the sausage but threw it away because "it didn't taste right."

    The stolen pigs were genetically engineered to develop a disorder similar to diabetic blindness in humans. University officials do not know what effect, if any, the treated meat could have on people who eat it.

    The pig incident is one in a series of missteps at the university's Animal Resources department which oversees the treatment of biomedical research animals.

    Last June, the director of Animal Resources, Jerry Davis, was fired after the unit was put on probation in the wake of an annual inspection that found problems with routine care of research animals and the oversight of the program.

    Federal regulators are currently investigating complaints about the facility's animal care procedures.


    http://www.jacksonville.com/tu-online/apnews/stories/060301/D7CD7SBG1.html
  • Twitch
    Twitch

    friggin' genius

  • Clam
    Clam
    Leviticus 11 - Now the Lord spoke to Moses and Aaron, saying to them, "Speak to the children of Israel, saying, 'These are the animals which you may eat among all the animals that are on the earth: Among the animals, whatever divides the hoof, having cloven hooves and chewing the cud; that you may eat.

    Can a pig be genetically modified not to have cloven hooves, or become a chewer of the cud, thus after all these years making it kosher?

  • tula
    tula

    moral of story?

    This is what happens when you throw your pearls (poor little Tula) before swine (the onion eater CO)?

    Hey...with all that onion he should have been well seasoned.

  • tula
    tula

    why am I suddenly in the mood for...

    chianti...

    and fava beans?

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