Sometimes I do a lot of thinking.
Yeah, I know that is dangerous.
Regardless, at times it seems that even though I’ve been out of the Borg for a little over two decades now, gone through expensive therapy, had a long term relationship once with another ex-dub and spent 8 years in college, I still find my personal thinking effected in some negative ways by my being raised a JW.
For instance, I have a really difficult, if not impossible time, ever finding a community where I feel I belong. I’ve lived everywhere from San Francisco to Cocoa Beach on the opposite coast and no matter where I live, I feel like I’m an alien from another culture. I don’t like living anywhere in the USA, nor do I see many other countries that look like a utopia. I think some of this negativity I feel is from being raised “separate” from the “world.”
If this wasn’t enough, I have zero interest in sports. My JW parents forbid me to partake in sports because of the “unbiblical” issue of competition. Perhaps I’m missing out on a lot because of this, no team spirit, being a “loner” a lot. Finally, one bigger negative is being negative. I’m actually somewhat optimistic by nature and manage to stay fairly happy but I seem to be drawn or attracted to horrific things, like thinking about what kind of super-terrible natural disasters can happen, terrorism, and all that rot. I think I got that from the Borg as well.
Anybody got a good formula for a mental enema?