Trying to date in the organization...gossipers ruining relationships

by B_Deserter 19 Replies latest jw experiences

  • monophonic

    b_deserter, i feel you. every dating relationship i went into....cleanly...the elders had to be up my ass for weeks/months to know my intentions were pure and 'was i planning on marrying her?'

    'if it works out, yeah'.

    by the time the elders would finally back off, i'd have time with the person and realize within a week there was no connection.

    and 1/2 of romance has to do with this whole, putting things off can kill a relationship that has a chance to work out.

  • fresia

    not just gossipers and back biters but meddlers in youre personal life, and they think in the negative about someone and always suspecting the worse.

  • WTWizard

    They do this as part of their effort to keep those that are still celibate from ever breaking from the stagnation of celibacy. They feel that it will push the affected ones to do more in field circus, free them to go to Nigeria where they can push membership past 7 million, and "do more than themselves plus kids" (which should send them back to kindergarten to learn math from the ground up).

    If "All Scripture is Inspired and Beneficial", then wouldn't that scripture at 1Thess 4:11 apply? That one is the one that tells people to mind their own damn business! If that isn't enough, they should re-read the Puketower of 10/15/1989 study articles (remember, they insist on their own material). This crap about gossip is right in that magazine! It was the one about hurtful gossip and slander, and how we should stay clear of it.

    And that's just within their own sources! Common sense dictates that, if there is no problem, why create one? Why create a problem for someone that wants attention from the opposite sex (and who doesn't) and is having enough difficulty as it is? There is no way I am ever going to support Jehovah's Witlesses, ever again--and if they try to force me back, I will do all I can to ruin the whole territory so no one ever comes to the door and takes anything again!

  • greendawn

    It just go to show that deep the JWs have the same meanness and defects as any otehr society, gossiping is a particularly damaging activity. There is no real brotherhood or spiritual paradise.

    In the congo I was in there was a woman like that, divorced and sexually frustrated for years I suppose it was a way for her to let out emotional tension. Obviously no one would marry with a gossiping and bitching woman like her.

  • LongHairGal

    You are so right about them ruining relationships with their gossip. I swear most of it is motivated by jealousy followed by boredom as a close second. I also believe it is harder for those who are in the 'center' of things and most visible to be dating somebody there. The most sickening thing I witnessed was when the panel of 'judges' and eldresses went around saying that so-and-so should not be marrying so-and-so. Mind you, they were talking about consenting adults and not a 16 and 17 year old. Where in the world do these idiots get the nerve to think that they can pronounce two people 'fit' to marry???

    I think it is somewhat easier for those on the fringes but they have to be very secretive about what they do and they should tell no one. Unfortunately, the nature of the religion forces people to be secretive just out of self-preservation.


  • The-Borg

    I got this sort of shit for 15 years, apparently I was too handsome, so the sisters were jealous. What kind of weirdo wacked out version of christianity is that? When I got divorced I swear I could see the vultures circling above my house.

  • White Dove
    White Dove

    Because as many have said, they have no life and therefore are jealous of the little bit of life that others find. They want some of that for themselves.

  • monophonic

    being good looking or attractive as a jw teen/20-something really sucks b/c elders and other get jealous.

    i had a so-called best friend turn out that she loved me and every time i showed interest in a sister, this best friend would spread nasty rumors about me to try to sabotage me.

    i blame the elders along with her, b/c they were such idiots to put me through so much shit just b/c i didn't have romantic interest in someone who never voiced she had it for me.

    things came to light when she tried to break up my wife and i.

    she's still a jw rock star, which goes to show the mindset of who is 'good' and who is not.

  • 4digitcode

    one of my mates ignored me for a while because they started a rumor that he was trying to be with me. He was older and had just been appointed elder. my friend told me to leave him alone and he had to be an example now that he was an elder. then we started talking again but not until i got pissed off at him and told him to cut the crap.

    Ever noticed that some couples were like ashamed of being together? cause some sorry sister said comments like 'you can do better' or 'does he have any spiritual goals. he's not a pioneer.'

    i think all the gossips make young bros and sis keep a lot of relationship secret, meeting in secret, doing what they shouldn't be doing and later getting dfed for it.
    that's how i experienced it at least ;)

  • 4digitcode

    mono i saw that happen so many times. when you're young and single so many people get jealous.

    When i just started going to this hall when i was 15 or 16 ( not baptized yet and alone in the 'truth') a sister told me i should stop always being the center of attention with the boys.

    DUUUUUH! the same concept applies at school when there's someone new they all flock around you.
    And a bethelite brother once told his best friend that i was flirting with all the bros at the assembly not knowing i was secretly dating him........the poor guy did a three hour trip to bethel to tell his mate to leave me alone and never talk about me again or else!! hahaha

    the good ol' times.

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