Still Secret. Elder buddy impregnates another Bros. Wife. Can I ???

by oompa 21 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  AGuest

  May you have peace. Seriously.

  I have to ask you: of what BENEFIT would it be for you to say anything to anyone? What benefit was it for you to say something here? If someone else's VERY personal business is "burning a hole" in your... mind/heart/gut... you should probably stop a moment, take stock, and ask yourself "why?" Why does what happened in these people's life have such an affect on you? Because it is still "secret?" To whom? You have no idea who knows... and who doesn't. Regardless, it really is not your place to "bring it to the light," is it?

  Forgive me if I "sound" harsh; I do not mean to. But I cannot, for the life of me, understand people who want to stir up dirt in other's lives just for... what? I will tell you: for the "joy" of judging another. You have judged your "friend" (at least, that's how you referred to him, but the fact that you want to reveal his dirt makes me question whether you were truly ever his friend) - whether you recognize that truth or not.

  I caution you: none of us are free from some manner of dirt. True, some of us are filthy, while others have smudges. But dirt... is dirt. And somewhere, in every life on earth, including yours, there is some dirt, something YOU don't want others to be told. I exhort you, therefore, to "do unto" your friend as you have him do unto you were it your secret: forgive him and do not keep account of the matter. I exhort you to exercise love... which will make it much easier for to forgive him... as well as to mind your own business.

  Again, I bid you peace... such that you can put this matter out of your mind... and heart... once and for all.

  Your servant and a slave of Christ,

  SA
• 

  SnakesInTheTower

  sh*t doesn't stink unless you stir it

  Snakes ()
• 

  lawrence

  When in doubt, leave it out. Let it be!
• 

  Pioneer Spit...oh, i mean Spirit

  Good advice yes. But since when does this fine JWD forum believe that living a lie is the best route, because someone may be temporarily upset by facts.

  It may be unfair for the child (sound like he's grown by now) to not know the truth. There is a slim possibility of medical problems that could require the truth of his father's identity, like if he needs a transplant, or needs to know family history esp if his real father is dead and at what age.

  I guess I would say that TRUTH and HONESTY are everything, without them, we have nothing.
• 

  Scully

  But since when does this fine JWD forum believe that living a lie is the best route, because someone may be temporarily upset by facts.

  Well, we are talking about a lie that he has no ownership in - he is not "living a lie" if it is someone else's lie. If it was his own lie, and he was prepared to deal with the consequences of exposing it, then more power to him.
• 

  IP_SEC

  "I guess I would say that TRUTH and HONESTY are everything, without them, we have nothing."

  This is none of oompa's buisness. The man is dead. He cannot harm anyone now. He cannot answer for himself. It is cowardice and gossip to wait 'til now to bring it up.

  Thank you

  that is all
• 

  aSphereisnotaCircle

  It may be unfair for the child (sound like he's grown by now) to not know the truth.

  Sorry to disagree with ya'll, but I believe a person has the right to know who his parents are.

  I would want to know, if someone out there knew something like that about me, I would want to know.

  I'm talking about just the kid here, once he becomes an adult, it's no one else's bizness.
• 

  Scully

  I believe a person has the right to know who his parents are.

  oompa mentioned that the matter was handled "very privately". Maybe the kid already does know, but they choose not to broadcast or dwell on the past. Even if the kid doesn't know, it's up to the mother and "adoptive" father to disclose that information, not someone who is no longer part of the biological dad's life. Besides, just because the biological dad shares DNA with the kid, doesn't make him a "parent" in the true sense of the word. It took a lot of character for the other guy to raise a child that wasn't his biologically.
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  IP_SEC

  Im not sorry to disagree with you sphere. oompa doesnt know jack shyte for sure. He is going off second hand knowledge that he got from a man who is now dead. Do you think it would be cool for oompa to order the grave be exhumed to get a dna sample to clear this whole paternity issue up? oompa doesnt even know if they (widow & offspring) know anything. oompa is just dying to ask. Why?
• 

  greendawn

  I also can't see what's the point of agitating the waters and telling anything to that child. What will it accomplish except create distress? To me it looks pretty pointless.