My Story

by okiesooner1966 8 Replies latest jw experiences

  • okiesooner1966

    I apologize I am actually 40 that was a misprint.

    Here it goes,

    I was born into this religon in 1966 to second generation witness parents. From the time I can remeber even at three or four years old it was drilled in my head that this was the last days. What horrible thing to have to deal with when you are four. I remeber my parents very vividly telling me that I would probably not make it to kindergarten, the end would come before that.

    School was horrible thru my early years, constantly being pulled out of classes due to some celebration they were having. However at the time it did'nt bother me that much because I was told we were doing the right thing, this was all just normal to me. Once I turned twelve everything began to change, I was just not going along with what my parents wanted me to do. Being that my dad was and Elder it seemed I was always held to higher satndard. It wasnt just good enough that we made our recommended ten hour a month in door knocking, we had to strive for fifteen and generally made it. The three meetings a week, Sat. and Sun. service Sun. morning watchower review before the meeting and my moms weekly bible study with was just to much to take.

    I began to rebel and rebel hard, I had my first commitee meeting when I was 14 years old, it seems like yesterday, the thing I remeber most about the mmeting was details the elders wanted. Threre was me and another girl involved in a relationship she to also went to my hall. They brought her in and literally interigated her for hours until she sang like a bird. By the time they brought me they had both barrels loaded, where did you begin touching her, was your hands over her shirt or under her shirt. My dad was not even allowed in the room which my freinds and I called the sin den. I personally believe now they got off on hearing every detail. Through the rest of my school years it was pretty much the same thing except each offense became worse. I will have to go into it later about my parents drilling into my head about there will be no chace of me furthering my education past High-School because we will not be in this system of things long enough to use it. I will finish the rest of this story within the next few days, this is making me ill rehashing all of this. Thanks for your patients I am beginning to open up alot of old wounds I have not thought about in years.

  • Younglove1999


    I'm pretty new here myself.

    I can totally relate to your "sin den" meeting. When my husband and I were engaged 9 years ago, we ended up getting DF'd. WE started dated young and since everyone was against us dating, they basically told us they wouldn't support it so we couldn't get chaperones- meh, we didn't like anyone anyways- LOL anyways, after a while we ended up together before we were married. HOnestly, I still don't regret it- We loved each other, we had a great relationship, we knew we wanted to be together, so everyone else could mind their own business. At any rate, for some reason we felt guilty at one point and thought we should confess. BIG MISTAKE. The elders asked me about EVERY SINGLE detail even to the point of whether or not there was "proof" that I lost my virginity. I'm actually surprised they didn't actually ask us to bring in the sheets. I hate to be so graphic, but here I was, almost 18 years old (still very young) and they were hounding me about all these details. What's worse is because I wasn't 18, my mom was in the room and even though she later admitted how angry she was that they were asking so many detailed questions, she never did anything there!!! Why couldn't they just take my word for it? "Yes, brother so and so, I believe I commited fornication" and leave it at that? Like you said, I believe they wanted it for their own gratification...bas.tards.

    I'm still troubled to this day because I literally felt stripped and exposed and emotinally raped by the type of questions they asked me. Disgusting.

  • JK666


    Welcome to JWD!

    Your situation isn't uncommon. I think that some elders enjoyed any sexual details that they could glean. Others just loved to humiliate the parties involved.

    Stick around and you will hear more stories that you can relate to. Keep on posting!


  • Open mind
    Open mind

    Sorry to hear what you went through Okie.

    You've come to the right place for support and healing.

    Open Mind

  • Serg

    Its true, most elders don't get any sex from their wives and so they end up trying to get their jollies off listening to young people's intimate details. We also confessed after being married since we did "it" before the ceremony but since the main elder involved saw my wife as a daughter so we got off easier getting privately reproved.

  • blueviceroy

    Im so sorry to hear this. My own upbringing was almost without any supervision and I couldnt imagine the tedious exsistence that being a member of a closed sociaty would be like . I read about the scrutiny of all aspects of your life by other people that arent concerned about your wellbeing but only your behavior and I feel disturbed . It seems like all the things I find I dislike about sociaty in general are even more pronounced in jws hmmmm I thought they were against this system of things .it seems as if they are mimicing some of its less desirable conditions . What of this perfect pardise we're told to expect wouldnt it seem like striving for some of that now would be just as important as spreading knowledge?

  • shell69

    This thread is upsetting me quite a bit. I see a councellor now and one of the things we have discussed is my experience with a JC at the age of 14.

    For a lot of reasons I got involved with a lad at school, and did the unmentionable. When my mum and dad found out (long story), my self righteous mother stood with her arms folded in the living room of our hous. She said 'Oh, ........ what will we do if she'd pregnant?'. My ms dad said 'she's having a bloody abortion', at the same time as he was dialling on the phone for the PO to come and talk to us.

    What horredous hypocrisy.! Anyhow's, my dad had a heart attack within 24 hours of this. I felt such terrible shame, I felt dirty.. I still do. horrendous.

    When he got out of hospital, the jc was arranged for a couple of weeks later, and I had to sit with my mum and dad and give, what I consider to be, quite explicit deatil about my behaviour.

    I really do still feel traum about this even now.

    Of course this was in the days when just an unbaptised publisher would have to appear in front of a jc int he event of wrongdoing. The b***rd society changed the rulles a couple of years after this, son that ony baptised pubs went into jc sittuations.

    Too late for all the rest they put through this ordeal though isn't it?

    Shell (I'll survive)

  • LearningToFly

    Thank you for sharing your story "Okie". It's sad the things you went through.. it is so abusive what elders do in their interogation meetings. Especially when it comes to so called sexual indescretions.

    Welcome to the forum as well. You will find much support here.. and also some fun.


  • choosing life
    choosing life


    Sorry for the bad experiences that you have endured. It's hard enough to grow up with these outsiders (elders) sticking their nose in where they doesn't belong. You should have been dealing with your parents only. The others don't need to know squat.

    Continue to post, as you feel comfortable. You will find many empathetic hearts. I hope you can work your way through the past. Counseling is good-a personal decision, of course.

    Oh and welcome to the board!

    Sincerely, choosing Life

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