Life in the Sphere

Stephanus

I don't do poetry, just prose.

My world is a bubble; a glass sphere. The people around me, walking, talking, laughing, weeping I can clearly see. But I can't connect; they are not in my world, and I am outside theirs. Even facial expressions, so easy to read and comprehend for others, are so distorted by the glass that I can't make them out. Emotional depth is beyond me; it washes over the sphere and passes me, without ever touching me.

Perhaps I'm an arsehole. Or perhaps I'm just me, living as I always have in the world I've always known.

changeling

Maybe you're autistic. Asperger's syndrome perhaps.

changeling

brunnhilde

I experienced a similar sensation (or lack there of) when I was suffering from a severe depression. That sense of failing to connect, that anyone or anything really had a connection with me.

brunn

nvrgnbk

You have my deepest sympathy, Stephanus.

To feel pain is better than to feel nothing at all.

Leolaia

I was thinking the same thing. I have AS and can relate to part of what you wrote.

Stephanus

Maybe you're autistic. Asperger's syndrome perhaps.

Bang on the money! I was diagnosed recently. As was my teenaged son. Fortunately for him, there's a lot that can be done for him at school and community level to help him learn coping strategies. As for us adults, I'm told there's not known about the syndrome in us.

I was thinking the same thing. I have AS and can relate to part of what you wrote.

You do? Wow! That explains your "smarts". I'm glad you use yours for good, rather than evil (like Star Trek conventions ).

under_believer

AS runs in my family. My paternal grandmother, father, and daughter are AS, and I have strong tendencies, though I still qualify as borderline neurotypical.

Stephanus, what you say exactly describes many people I love. You are not an asshole; you are capable of deep love and devotion. Never doubt that. If you so choose, you can pass as NT. It's possible for an AS person to learn the ropes of human interaction in the same way that he or she can learn to play the piano.

Nevertheless, don't try to pass if you don't want to. Don't let anyone tell you that something is wrong with you. You were born with a life condition that gives you unique powers that other people don't have, at the cost of other powers that most have. Use your talents to their fullest, enjoy life, and treasure the people who are closest to you. They know how you are and they're still around, which makes them precious.

Leolaia

Yes, I was dx'd in 2000 though I have known I was on the spectrum since my childhood...I just didn't neatly fit the diagnostic boundaries as they existed back then. I am a part of the local AS community here, a member of the local support group and I have done some volunteer work (such as taking part in high school awareness events).

Do you post on Wrong Planet? http://www.wrongplanet.net/forums.html I post there occasionally but not too often.

stillajwexelder

by the way Leo - congratulations on 10,000 great posts - not mountains of bullshit and fluff like mine

changeling

under_believer: "...you can pass as NT".LOL

Love the Myers Briggs reference.

I believe Leolalia has posted before that she's an NT.

Interesting

changeling (enfj)

Life in the Sphere

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