HOWEVER, I will say one of the benefits of it all is just being able to say ANYTHING. I mean JWD is awesome and everything, but having a person in front of you who wont blast you for your feelings and thoughts and will take the time to listen (mainly cause you're paying them, but I digress) is so amazing. It felt lke such a rush for a second to say that, "I don't believe it anymore and I'm gay." Well, I don't think you'd say that....
haha =) our situation is not completely equal (i bet its even more hard when you're gay... brrrr... i means its not easy for a non-dub gay person to come out. i feel for ya bro), but i know what you mean. JWD is great, but its really something different to have a person who is experienced with such problems who listens to you without JW judging.
thanks for your suggestions so far. because of all your suggestions ive found some therapists who i plan to try out. lets see what happens.