Shunning of ex JW family members imposed or optional?

by greendawn 24 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • greendawn
    greendawn

    Some supportes of the JWs argue that the WTS does not impose on its followers to shun and disgrace ex JW family members, it leaves them the option to decide on the issue and some shun and others do not.

    Is that an honest arguments or is it like the blood issue where the WTS supposedly doesn't impose on its members the decision to refuse blood?

    For all we know the non shunning of ex JW family members except for absolutely necessary contact could lead a JW to DFing. Those that don't shun do so at their own risk by disobeying their cynical and foxy masters.

    alt

  • ithinkisee
    ithinkisee

    ::Some supportes of the JWs argue that the WTS does not impose
    ::on its followers to shun and disgrace ex JW family members,
    ::it leaves them the option to decide on the issue and some shun
    ::and others do not.

    It's like you said. One hallmark of cults is to make people "think" they are giving you a choice when there really is no choice. See Steve Hassan's CULT MODEL for more information.

    Similar to the blood thing where they have repeatedly claimed they do not discourage people from taking blood (examples in the news here and here) it is actually an "implied choice". They are made to feel "extra spiritual" if they follow the Society's "suggestions".

    -ithinkisee

  • hilannj
    hilannj

    according to their lit, they must do it.. unless that family member happens to live with them.. then they can talk to them, otherwise it is only in case of emergency.. but I its force to different amounts at different congs.

  • journey-on
    journey-on

    Greendawn

    I don't know if the society has changed in recent years, but I have a brother who is df'd and my folks NEVER shunned him. My mother always said that she did not think Jehovah expected a mother to disown her own children. So, she never stopped associating with him. She remained in good standing till her death a couple of years ago, and no one ever counseled her about it.

  • Miss Bliss
    Miss Bliss

    As a last ditch effort my mother told me if I left the religon she would no longer be able to speak to me to the extent that our current relantionship was at. That lasted all of a day when she realized it wasn't a whim and the next day she went back to our usual relantionship without ever talking about what she had said... To her benefit I know she only said that out of desperation of not wanting me to go but my mother and I are very close and she believes that it is a decision whether to shun or not. Also even to this day all of my mothers friends still ask about me and my baby wanting to know everything i'm doing (not in an imposing way just because they cared a lot about me) and always tell her to say hi although I was not offically DF'ed or DA'ed this all still know I live with my boyfriend, have tattoos and smoke cigarettes so go figure. I think my parents had racey JW friends who pushed the boundaries of what they couldn't and could do. I think the people who shun are weak-willed and afraid of what others might think or maybe perhaps afraid they themselves will get sucked into Apostasy as we were taught would always happen....Go figure that my mother has talked to me for years and still is going strong in the religon

  • Miss Bliss
    Miss Bliss

    My point to that whole long winded story is It has always been my understanding it was a matter of "conscience" whether or not to shun or not especially when it came to immediate family members. There is a different between shunning a random DF'ed person in the congo and sunning your own children.

  • Gopher
    Gopher

    SHUNNING IS IMPOSED. Have no question about this. (I know this from personal experience.)

    Yes there is a difference - in that a JW is allowed to conduct 'necessary business' with his expelled family member living outside the home. What that necessary business is, is up to the individual. However a person who is known to associate with a DF'd or DA'd family member WILL come under scrutiny. And also if a DF'd child is living at home, most normal communication can continue. (Isn't that merciful?)

    Here is the scan of an August 2002 Kingdom Ministry 2-page article where the Society has imposed this demand on its followers:

    http://www.randytv.com/howtotreatdf.htm

    And here is a JWD thread showing Watchtower quotations on the subject:

    Click Here

  • OUTLAW
    OUTLAW

    GreenDawn..WBT$ always gives it`s cult the Jehovah`s Witness`s an Option..Do as your told,or get tossed out..It`s your choice..Some members manage to skirt the Rules..But..The Option is always there...OUTLAW

  • Gopher
    Gopher

    Here are some quotes from the August 2002 Kingdom Ministry

    "Display Christian Loyalty When A Relative Is Disfellowshipped"

    "The bond between family members can be very strong. This brings a test upon a Christian when a marriage mate, a child, a parent, or another close relative is disfellowshipped or has disassociated himself from the congregation."

    "How to Treat Expelled Ones: God's Word commands Christians not to keep company or fellowship with a person who has been expelled from the congregation"

    "Jesus was... instructing his followers not to associate with expelled ones."

    "This means that loyal Christians do not have spiritual fellowship with anyone who has been expelled from the congregation. But more is involved. God's Word states that we should 'not even eat with such a man.' (1 Cor. 5:11) Hence, we also avoid social fellowship with an expelled person. This would rule out joining him in a picnic, party, or trip to the shops or theatre or sitting down to a meal with him either in the home or at a restaurant."

    "What about speaking with a disfellowshipped person?"

    "A simple 'Hello' to someone can be the first step that develops into a conversation and maybe even a friendship. Would we want to take that first step with a disfellowhipped person?"

    "The fact is that when a Christian gives himself over to sin and has to be disfellowshipped, he forfeits much: his approved standing with God;....sweet fellowship with the brothers, including much of the association he had with Christian relatives."

    "Former spiritual ties have been completely severed. This is true even with respect to his relatives, including those within his immediate family circle....That will mean changes in the spiritual fellowship that may have existed in the home. For example, if the husband is disfellowshipped, his wife and children will not be comfortable with him conducting a family Bible study or leading in Bible reading and prayer."

    "The situation is different if the disfellowshipped or disassociated one is a relative living outside the immediate family circle and home"

    "It might be possible to have almost no contact at all with the relative."

    "Loyal Christians should strive to avoid needless association with such a relative, even keeping business dealings to an absolute minimum."

    "Sometimes Christian parents have accepted back into their home for a time a disfellowshipped child who has become physically or emotionally ill. But in each case the parents can weigh the individual circumstances."

    "Will he bring 'leaven' into the home?"

    "Cooperating with the Scriptual arrangement to disfellowship and shun unrepentant wrongdoers is beneficial."

    "After hearing a talk at a [Jehovah's Witnesses] circuit assembly, a brother and his fleshly sister realized that they needed to make adjustments in the way they treated their mother, who lived elsewhere and who had been disfellowshipped for six years. Immediately after the assembly, the man called his mother, and after assuring her of their love, he explained that they could no longer talk to her unless there were important family matters requiring contact. Shortly thereafter, his mother began attending meetings and was eventually reinstated. Also, her unbelieving husband began studying and in time was baptized [as a Jehovah's Witness]."

  • Dragonlady76
    Dragonlady76

    Display Christian Loyalty When A Relative Is Disfellowshipped"
    Loyalty? does the gb understand the definition of this word? You cannot have both as stated in the title.

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