My annoying neighbour

sorry, I can't get the hang of html. I live in a unit complex, everybody knows everybody. I can leave a key with someone if maintenance is being carried out. One neighbour became very friendly, she would hear my car drive in and be at the door within minutes. She just wouldn't leave me alone. I've tried to cool it but she's the clinging type. She introduced me to my now partner, so I feel a bit guilty about trying to shake her loose! My partner is very kind, thoughtful, and generous. She now uses him to fix things in her place. I eventually told her that she doesn't respect my boundaries (I had asked her not to come on Saturday afternoons after I finished work, but she ignored me), so we had peace for about 6 weeks. Now she's back again, my partner is looking for a car for my parents who are moving here soon. So she's offered to show him her mechanic's car. He's such a softie, that he can't say no. I told him that I feel that he's not supporting me, and he says that he knows that her & I have nothing in common, and he'll try , but this woman is determined. It's taken me 2 years to get to the point where we are now. I just want to be neighbours and say hi. She's lonely, I know that, but we have nothing in common and her kids are the reason she has no friends, they are rude, spoilt, and throw tantrums, they are 14 and 12! I love my partner because he's kind and generous, but those same qualities are preventing him from holding her at a distance. What can I do? rose petal

OUTLAW

A:Explain things to her with a Baseball Bat..B:Move...OUTLAW

greendawn

Since she doesn't seem to take any hints you must tell her firmly but gently that she can't come round to your place as and when she wishes. If she still does, find each time an excuse to not let her in. Allow her some time to visit you when you feel like it at a frequency that is not irritating to you.

lola28

A:Explain things to her with a Baseball Bat..B:Move

Outlaw you are great Sir. Heehee.

rose petal

She doesn't visit here anymore, she just waylays my partner. Moving is not an option, not just yet anyway. rose petal

Effervescent

She sounds a little scary. Have you spoken to the manager/owner of your complex about her? I would wonder what their policy is on tenants harrassing others.

This is a little tounge in cheek, but have you ever thought of turning the tables on her and get *her* to stay away? Call her at all hours of the night to tell her stories of your childhood, knock on the door constantly to borrow things you don't give back. Ask for money. Ask her embarrassing personal questions in a loud voice in front of others. Pretty soon maybe she'll move.

ninja

tell her you're friends with nvr....she will think you a saddo and leave you alone......muhahaha....ninja's obligatory nvr comment

Scully

Why not hang a DO NOT DISTURB sign on your door?

If she ignores it, complain to the property manager. If you make verbal complaints to the management, follow each one up with a note so that the paper trail is solid, taking note of date and time and the person to whom you spoke. Tell them that you expect them to support your right to privacy and enjoyment of your living space. Start a log, documenting incidents that infringe on your privacy. You may have a case for harassment or even stalking, but you need to be diligent about documentation, and very firm in your boundaries with this woman.

Check the tenant laws for your area, there are bound to be some regulations that apply, and if there is a Tenants' Rights advocacy group in your area, call them up and find out what else you can do to protect your privacy, without having to move house.

I once had a neighbour like the one you describe, and eventually I was able to compel the property manager to petition for the neighbour's eviction. Documentation was the key, though.

carla

She's going to visit your guy when your not there?! ooh, that doesn't sound good at all. He needs to tell her it is not appropriate, he can always just not answer the door. If she asks about it when she knew he was home he can just tell her he was busy, sleeping, whatever. Unless she is completely dense she will get the hint. It's your home, you don't need to answer the door or telephone if you don't feel like it. Why is he doing repairs? Doesn't the landlord take care of that? Your guy could be very busy 'repairing' things at your place and not have time to fix her things as well. Or supply her with a phone number for fix-it-man, hand her the card, talk fast, tell her you are in the middle of something, gotta run, goodbye, and close the door.

Or you could be completely honest and tell her you think she has been relying on the two of you a bit too much (or taking advantage) and needs to respect your time together as a couple. Set your boundries. Would your honey appreciate you going to some guys apartment and fixing dinner for some single guy on a semi regular basis?

My annoying neighbour

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