a card I received that reallly upset me

by quietlyleaving 24 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Dawn

  I think their intentions are sincere. Take it as a compliment that they thought of you.

  I agree. I think the healthy thing to do would be to just let it go. Don't give it another thought - it's really nothing in the grand scheme of things.
• 

  quietlyleaving

  thanks all for your responses - I feel a lot better - it's very helpful to see it through your eyes.

  I'm seeing that the individuals who wrote the card are sincere but the message contained is very manipulative and when you put the two togther its very persuasive and disarming which is why the WTS gets away with so much and is able to hold onto its members with such tenacity.

  Rewording the card for myself was very therapeutic.

  qtlg
• 

  PoppyR

  I think the hard thing for me is that I know they feel sorry for ME!! I had a conversation with my sister where she talked about helping me to regain faith etc. I just ended up getting mad which I really didn't want to do, because it was so patronising. I said why would I need faith to believe something if it was obviously true! I dont need faith to know the sky is blue.

  BUT, I do feel that this is done in a kind spirit, they genuinely believe they are doing the right thing, and the best thing if you are fading is to ignore it. Any kind of response will motivate them to think either they did the right thing, and carry on trying to 'encourage' you, or that you are an apostate and action needs to be taken.

  Poppy
• 

  free2think

  What a lovely card.

  Did it make you go back?
• 

  jgnat

  Rewording the card for myself was very therapeutic.

  I think there is something to that. So much of the Watchtower propoganda is disseminated one way, "We talk, you listen." I think by rewriting the script, we erase or cover over the programming somehow. Those old words lose their power.

  An ex-Witness recently chatted with me about all I've been through, and twice used the word "suffered". The condolences offered were sincere, but the language, comes from that old school. You know, there is so much suffering in this old world. But I don't feel like a martyr, and I don't focus on the suffering part. I've learned to focus on the prevailing part. So it helps, I think, even to rewrite your story, after the fact, using more powerful language. Positive words.