IT IS EASIER TO LEAVE JWS IF NONE OF YOUR FAMILY ARE JWS (page 2)

Witchettygrub

The only person I had to contend with when exiting was myself. That was 2 decades ago. Went back and forth also but have now completely left.

I couln'nt imagine anything worse than leaving my family members and even with just myself I felt disloyal. It has taken years to overcome - guess it went deep.

Witchetty

WTWizard

I bet that this has something to do with forcing 6 year olds to get baptized. If they get the age down to 6, then those who reach 12 without getting baptized will look weird and get hounded; it will be close to impossible to reach 18 without getting baptized. However, if the age of getting baptized is 14 or 15, then more will reach 18 without getting baptized. And if they do, they might just escape ever getting in. And they will still have the family ties without having to worry about getting disfellowshipped.

The wanderer

Dear Steve2:

You are absolutely correct! I have no family that
are Jehovah's Witnesses and to break away from the
organization in comparison to those that have famil-
ies in the organization is ten times easier.

However, to get my best friend out of the organ-
ization took two very long, hard, trying years.

I am grateful that I have at least one friend out
of organization all things considered.

Respectfully,

Richard

steve2

I am grateful that I have at least one friend out
of organization all things considered.

Hi Richard,

Yes, that's such a good way to view outcomes In terms of some things turning out much better than expected! I haven't seen any of my extended family members officially leave, but I have observed a small but important lessening of the Watchtower's authoritarian grip on some of them. I remain grateful that I have my life and my health! I think Inertia keeps a lot of JWs in the religion, rather than any deep-seated conviction that it is the truth.

The older I become, the deeper my own personal view that, whether we've been through hell in leaving the JWs or not, once we're out, life hands its awesome responsibilities over to us - we can't shirk that responsibility and go handing ot over to yet another religion or 'god'. We can no longer act like children who look to other (mere) humans to tell us what to do. The prospect of taking personal responsibility for our lives is very daunting for those of us raised in the religion - but it's also very exciting! Bring it on!

Regards,

Steve2

RHodge6685

I didn't have any family in the organization, which I am so glad about. It made leaving much easier for me. I can only imagine the horrible trauma people have to deal with that do have family in. I can understand why some people try to fake it, or fade, so they can still talk to children, parents, etc. The WT has done unspeakable cruelty to so many families. It's so terrible.

IP_SEC

It is only hard because you think it is hard. Take it from me. It is very easy to say: "Look guys, Im leaving the JWs. If you want to have anything to do with me outside of that here is my email address and phone number. Love you. Take care."

What is hard and not worth the trouble (imo) for any length of time is staying in and pretending. I did both. Familyless and free is better than having fair weather friends and in chains.

choosing life

I have pretty much faded from the jws. The one thing I still can't do is talk straight with close jw family members. I have to hold my tongue about some things and I just hate playing those games. If I don't, I risk not seeing children and grandchildren. If I give them the impression that I am a "spiritual danger" to their young children, I'm sure the shunning would begin.

I am curious if the new koolaid edition of the Watchtower will start introducing more rigid behavior towards family who are inactive. I am sure that fading is something the borg would like to get some kind of control over. I can't imagine they can tolerate people just walking away in large numbers, as we see on here.

Yep, without close family still in their clutches, I would DA in a nanosecond. You still have to go through all the deprogramming and readjust your life, so it's still not a cake walk. The programming runs much deeper than many realize at first.

sammielee24

It's as if there were a tidal wave that rolls in and sweeps your entire village out to see leaving only you standing. You feel like the only person left on earth - your family is all dead, the friends you knew so well are all dead and the only thing you can do is wander off looking for some way to survive. I double that drama for anyone who is born into the org and rasied in it because there is no other support system that you've known or understand. sammieswife.

steve2

If I don't, I risk not seeing children and grandchildren. If I give them the impression that I am a "spiritual danger" to their young children, I'm sure the shunning would begin.

Hi Choosing Life,

I'm glad that you've shared your particular experience which illustrates the very high cost associated with being shunned. I can also see that you don't want to give your family any cause to view you as a "spiritual danger" and risk losing your grandchildren. I also get that it's seldom just a matter of making a "simple" decision to leave (in contrast to fading) and facing the consequences. For each individual caught up in the organization, the costs are different. Take care.

penny2

If I give them the impression that I am a "spiritual danger" to their young children, I'm sure the shunning would begin.

choosing life, I am in the same position. Very frustrating. As the young children become teenagers, I'd love to take them aside and have a little chat. I've tried talking to the adults and that's been a lost cause. And they've already told me if I say anything to the kids, that's the end.

Sounds the "The Village".

IT IS EASIER TO LEAVE JWS IF NONE OF YOUR FAMILY ARE JWS

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