Update - advice please?

sweet pea

So, it has come to my attention that my JW girlfriends have been gossiping in that great inimitable JW way - they seem to believe that I am attending an Alpha Course and going to a new church (as if?). Obviously one of my parents has spilled some baked beans and been indiscreet (just like that old faithful and not so discreet, slave....).

Not sure what will happen next but wondering where I stand with regards to any elders that were to get wind of this?

I still have no plans to DA but if pushed.....

candidlynuts

ack the jw gossip line

you can't really fight rumors.

if the elders want to meet with you about the rumors you decide if you want to defend yourself or not.

they only have as much power over you as you let them have.

ex-nj-jw

I agree with candi on this one, they only have as much authority over you as you give them, you know what my answer is...tell them to kiss you A** and mind their business.

Now I realize that it may not be that simple for you, but don't let them make you miserable. That's what pisses me off the most, they claim to be your friends then talk about you like a dog just because you choose not to be led around by the nose by a group of old men trying to run your life!

You are a grown A** woman and are perfectly able to make your own decisions.

Hang in there sweetie, don't let them drive you nuts!

nj

Mum

Put an ad in the classifieds under "Announcements." It could read something like this:

To whom it may concern: Just in case it is any of your business (and it really is not, but I want to stop the rumor mill) I, Sweet Pea, do not participate in [alleged affiliations or activities], nor have I ever done so, nor do I plan to do so. It would mean a lot to all of us who are subjects of your gossip that you cease and desist. Is your life so empty that you need to make up stories about me to keep up your social contacts or to make conversation?

With pity and contempt,

Sweet Pea

It doesn't cost much to put an ad in the paper. Your friends would get a good laugh. The gossipers would be put in their place, and you would have made a public stand in defense of your integrity.

Please let us know what you do.

Regards,

SandraC

Hortensia

Think of it as surgery - it's a terrible painful process having that tumor removed, with loads of anxiety and grief, but in the end you're better for it. The process of getting out of JWs can be very painful, but you're better off in the long run and you'll be happier and healthier. Maybe, like me, your entire family will eventually follow you out of the org.

sweet pea

It turns out that an ex-jw posted a private email (discussing my current situation) he received on an ex-jw website (not this one). This was subsequently discovered by one of my jw friends (naughty, naughty, he was looking at an 'apostate' website - I wonder how his wife/family/friends/congregation feel about that....) and he has obviously passed the information on and that is why the 'friends' are gossiping. Not sure what will happen next.

To all you newbies/lurkers: I have learned a big lesson from this - be EXTREMELY CAREFUL what you say and to whom and don't ever put anything down in writing unless you are prepared for the whole world to see it and really don't care about the consequences.

Lady Liberty

Dear Sweet Pea...

No matter what will happen, you have our love and support here!! Hang in there , you may be in for a ride... keep us posted.

Sincerely,

Lady Liberty

sweet pea

Thank you for the reminder LL

Sad emo

It turns out that an ex-jw posted a private email (discussing my current situation) he received on an ex-jw website

Crikey, you'd think an ex-jw would have more sense/sensitivity than to do that!! That really does show how careful you have to be.

I hope things work out ok for you in spite of this, you have great support here too.

Update - advice please?

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