by R.F. 17 Replies latest jw friends
I would just wave and say hi and see what kind of response I get. If it is positive then talk to them. Do it more than once, because they may just be confused the first time. If after three tries of waving and saying hello, they do not respond, then let it be.
OT: Welcome Timbob. I am so sorry that you experienced that.
TIMBOB:
What a heart wrenching story. So sorry to hear that.
My family (myself included) were total a$$holes about being strict shunners of my oldest brother for many, many years. He will NEVER be a JW again. I'm so glad I finally decided to break through the "Wall of Love" and still find him there waiting on the other side after so much time and pain had gone by.
Keep on posting!!
Open Mind
TimBob,
I cannot even bign to express how sad your experience makes me. That must have been simply horrible!
My condolences on the loss of your sister, both before and after her untimely passing.
This is yet another story that illustrates the damage done by the abusive and unscriptural way the WTS applies the scriptures to enforce unity of delusion.
I always followed the shunning rules zealously, and this I regret.
The only DF'd person I know now is my older brother, but I would not associate with him regardless of what the WTS said, so I'm afraid I don't have a track record to fall back on, but I feel that DF'ing has no bearing whatsoever on who I would or would not associate with, and I don't feel I would be in any way circumspect about shunning the shunning rule, it is simply not a factor in my life any more.
Thank God!
Roller
Yeah I did, I was inactive at the time but one of my friends who I had known for ever got D\F her, and her sister. I just walked up to her and said hi, and she was shocked she was like "Dont you know Im D\F" and I said "Yes and I didnt care".
I must admit sinceI've been D\F I have not bumped into one fellow D\F person heh.
es
[quote]Anyways, a few years later, there was sister that had been DFed had started to come back to the meetings. She had a baby. It was then I began noticing that people were holding her baby for her, even talking to her(just a few words, but still "saying a greeting to her"). All of this was taking place inside the Kingdom Hall. I was pissed. Not about people trying to help her out. It was the fact that all of this was OK. Reasoning being, well she has a baby and needs help. I could not beleive it. A few years ealier I did not so much as say hello to my own flesh and blood. The last year of my sister's life, I missed out on. All because it was against the rules.
From there and then on, I said F*** the rules. I'll talk to whomever I want.[/quote]
You know what sucks? If I were to tell my active mother this story and say that the WTS hurts people deeply. They have this twisted way of curtly saying well you will get to see your sister in paradise since she was going to be reinstated.
They fail to see with these arguments if they are wrong how completely retarded they sound to us.
In my opinion, among disfellowshipped JWs there could exist an implicit hierarchy of evil: if you're kicked out for immorality but still basically believe the religion is the Truth, you'll probably not want to asociate with an apostate.
When I was first disfellowshipped for apostasy, I greeted another disfellowshipped witness during a genuniely chance encounter (it was not planned by me). She verbally attacked me stating more or less "How dare you think I'd want to talk to you after all you've done to criticise the brothers!" I couldn't believe the anger leveled at me. I was all the more puzzled because I had always thought I had tried to quietly leave the organization, but I later heard the elders were acusing me of spreading falsehood.
I've had a few other really unpleasant encounters with ex-JWs who react as if they are not as bad as me.
On the other hand, from time time, evidently still-active JWs have spoken nicely to me!
Yes I do now - not at the hall - but any other place I go out of my way to say hi to DFd JWs
I felt guilty talking to DF'd people while in the org but I could not in my heart feel good about shunning them so if I ran into one I always ended up saying hello and talking to them anyway if the situation arose. I could never see how shunning them would make them feel good about coming back. I know why I felt that way now when I try explain disfellowshipping to my "wordly" wife and why I can't talk or hang out in public places with family and (ex)friends because I'm now DF'd. I feel like a tool explaining it and I feel like a jerk and apologise to any DF'd person I may have ignored growing up.
