we need our own little wailing wall on the JWD forum - a section where we can go to whine and cry and others will be warned not to go there if they don't want to hear it. Why? I want to whine and cry. My life sucks at the moment - my psychotic drug addicted gun crazy tried-to-kill-a-cop nearly ex-husband is now telling the court that it is all MY fault - if I hadn't overreacted to his attempt to kill me, everything would be OK. It's my fault he had all those guns, it's my fault he decided to do meth, it's my fault he attacked his best friend and a cop. Asshole.
Also I am flat broke, my business is going down the toilet, I paid my rent but don't know where I'll get the money to pay next month's rent.
However, I am going to a psychiatrist - and fortunately it worked out that the one I picked was a psychiatrist in prisons for a long time. She knows all about this kind of thing, she agreed with me that he is very very dangerous, she says he'll get about 20 years, so I should quit thinking about him and focus on business. She says I am suffering from post traumatic stress syndrome - I felt that was for more serious problems like soldiers or hostages - but she says anyone who suffered attempted murder will also suffer post-traumatic stress so I don't feel like such a huge whiner and lousy fucking wimp.
Also, I have resources, even if I don't have any money. I'm selling whatever I can, and trying hard to get another book finished as I know I could sell it - self-publish which I've done before, or sell to a publishing company which I've also done before. So the near future is bleak - but I hope hope hope I come out OK in the long run. Anyone wanna buy a big man's wedding ring? Big ring that is, not big man, although he's pretty tall.