I Feel so alone

aussie

hi everyone, well im totally new at this but i thought i would give it a go anyway.so here is my story(short version)

well i have been with my boyfriend for 2yrs now and the last 4months he has started to get back into witnessing. i have said from day one that i dont want to be one, but i did attend a meeting, memorial and some studys i did this for him to see what it was all about. my parents werent to happy about me going so i didnt tell them every time i went. but lately i have told them everythinbg i cant exactly hide it when im crying my eyes out, when we had yet another conversation about it which we have been having alot of he told me that if didnt become one that we cant be together. i ended up having a day and half off cause i was so upset this is the guy that i wanna spend the rest of my life with and he said that to me, i dont think he would ever have said that to me 6 or 9 months ago so i can all ready see he is changing. we had another talk but this time i was able to come back with questions instead of him always talking. i asked him if he knew that you actually celebrated valentines day, he said something like no we didnt, he asked his mum and then he said had a confession to make that we did celebrate so that felt good, that he didnt know that. at this stage i was doing research i was on the net all day, went to the library and hired the book crisis of conscience(very good) went to this talk with this older guy and his wife, and he basically said that what i found out was satan and lies and when i would ask a question he would be like i have never heard that or thats not true so i didnt bother asking questions anymore i just let him do the talking. i told them from the start that i was never gonna become one and i dont believe it but they just said that was how i felt before i got started into. i will admit there was a point that i did think about i was even defending them to my mum, but then something clicked inside of me and there is no way i will be a witness. also this sunday going to my last talk with this person dont know what i will talk about and then having a talk with my boyfriend, not gonna be a fun weekend. my parents arent to happy with me going to another talk because they have had enough of seeing me upset and being emoional blackmailed cause i kinda feel that way. .

well sorry thats so long and i hope it does make sense.

Stealth453

Welcome aussie.

I hate to say it, but you will never win over the watchtower. In my opinion, find someone that will devote himself to you, and not to a bunch of senile old men that change their minds as often as they change thier diapers.

chelsea

Hi! If i were in your situation i would tell my boyfriend that i live my life according to what i believe is the right thing to do in my heart, and that i would never allow humans to manipulate this. I would also say that i expect the same thing of a partner... someone who is corageous enough to do the right thing rather than what is dictated to him. Love is usually the right thing. Arbitrary rules are always something else.

helncon

Hi aussie and welcome to the board,

I hate to say it, but you will never win over the watchtower. In my opinion, find someone that will devote himself to you, and not to a bunch of senile old men that change their minds as often as they change thier diapers.

I totally agree with stealth on this.

Really it isn't worth the pain and agony.

Check out other posts about other non JW women being with JW men, your heart may be wanting to be with him but you will always feel unhappy with the way he is wiith the JW.

IMO break it off you will have a better life.

Helen

delilah

I'm sorry your boyfriend feels it necessary to go back to the witnesses....and that he's pressuring you , and blackmailing you to become a witness. I must implore you, DO NOT BECOME A WITNESS JUST TO PLEASE HIM. You will NOT be happy. Stand your ground, and be true to yourself.

Best of luck. I know you have 2 years invested into this relationship, but if he's so willing to toss it aside, perhaps you need to cut your losses, and find a man who will love you unconditionally, free of the JW religion.

bigmouth

Gidday aussie, I'm pleased you posted. I get the impression that your boyfriend has been telling you about JW matters for the two years you've been together and you've found this distressing.

Most here will tell you that you have no hope of a happy relationship with him if he returns to the 'cult'. You may find that the emotional investment you have made will count for little UNLESS he is a very strong and principled man.

Welcome, and you are not alone.

Pete

aSphereisnotaCircle

they have had enough of seeing me upset and being emoional blackmailed cause i kinda feel that way. .

This is emotional blackmail and any person on this board will tell you this is a huge red flag. I know you love this guy, but you will never be number one in his life. The JW's have it grilled into them constantly, you must put "jehovah" (meaning the wathctower) ahead of family.

You love this guy, and i know how painful it is to love someone who is not good for you. But anyone who puts the interests of a group of old men in NY ahead of their loved ones is not someone you will ever find happiness with.

noontide

Are you happy in your current situation? Have things changed between both of you since he decided to go back to the Witness? How drastic was the change? If he is serious about returning to the Witness, this situation and the problems you are facing will not change, they will only get worse. Sorry to put it so bluntly but it’s the truth.

2) Try to reason with him and hope stops the Witness comeback process.

3) Break up with him.

passive suicide

Boy.....what the hell is this?.......You need to look up fiveangels, and have a heart to heart talk. You're both dealing with JW dudes. I wish i could talk to these guys, and bonk their heads for you..but I can't, and you're up against a lot..anyways.check out her post, and the various comments there-in.

troubled mind

I'm so sorry you are going through this , but please know this is emotional blackmail and it will get worse.....If you really don't want to be a witness then you must be strong and let him go .

Otherwisw you are headed down a sad lonely , unhappy road . Imagine for a moment never celebrating the holidays ever again with your family .If you have children in the future you will be expected to raise them as JW's which means not allowing them to pursue sports or talents possibly even limiting their education .Also if one is injured or sick and Doctors say they need blood transfusion you will be expected to allow them possibly to die . If your children become rebellious in their teen years and leave the religion you will be pressured to shun your own children .It is a twisted ,sick religion cloaked in false righteousness...becareful, beware

I really am sorry you have to consider yourself fortunate though that you are finding out the truth about it all before you are married .

I Feel so alone

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