Those of you that are Elders and MS on the fade, I want to know how you personally keep up the facade? Do you find it difficult to give meeting parts, comments, "setting the example" in the field ministry? Im a MS and when I give parts I do my best not to mention the "faithful and discreet slave". I always try to emphasize the Bible and it's reading. I rarely ever mention reading the publications anymore, just strong Bible study. I'm a pioneer also, but about to quit. I just can't bring myself to putting that much effort into the door to door magazine distribution anymore. How about you?
Elders and Ministerial Servants
by R.F. 5 Replies latest jw experiences
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Highlander
If there are current ideas/concepts that you agree with, such as using the bible to guide your life, teaching about jesus love for everyone including the wicked, etc, then I would continue
to hammer home those type of points when you are forced to give a talk or demonstration.
Then ofcourse while you are doing this, you need to slowly back away from responsibilities. You said you'll quit pioneering? That's a great start and will lift a huge load off of your shoulders.
Take it one step at a time, though you will inevitable raise suspicions when you go from pioneer/ms to joe blow publisher. Do it slow enough and maybe people will leave you alone.
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SnakesInTheTower
R.F.
As you may have surmised from previous posts, I am a recent former elder. I have missed almost every meeting this month, including today. I will have to show up soon or the questions will start building. I am not able to completely leave at this point because of mom being in the Borg and a few close friends whose hearts I will break if I completely leave. These friends know I am missing more and more meetings. A couple even know I dont do the formal ministry anymore. I am getting some gentle nudges. However, encouragingly enough, the lack of reaction from some is very interesting. I think they too are tired of the Borg but dont know how to separate from Mother's teet.
I have been, maybe rightly so, criticized by a couple of folks on JWD as being a "fence sitter" and such.... Most here have been a bit more understanding.
So my facade is crumbling. It has been noticed I am not "involved" with my new congo. I commented at the Craptower lesson the first couple of meetings at my new congo, then couldn't stomach the "Pete and Repea" nature of the lesson. I am not on the School. The PO told me I should get on the school, telling me, by now your name should be on the schedule (we have a huge congo, so I am hoping such things will not come up often). If my name appears for a #2 reading or #4 talk, I will just tell them my work schedule really has me tied up (I actually write my own schedule and work when I want, which now is most of the time...conveniently on meeting nights especially) and not put me on the schedule. If pushed, I will tell them to "let some of the newer, less experienced publishers enjoy the "privilege" and gain experience for awhile. I am just worn out from my beatings as an elder at the previous congo."
I have not been to a single book study since the Climax book started (locally, except for one time when visiting Mom I did go, and that was a joke). I dont plan on going to the book study again. That part of the fade has been successful so far.
As for pioneering, I used to do it, hated it really. But that was what was expected of a single MS (later elder) on the fast track (but often interrupted) to bigger privileges. Never could get comfortable in the ministry pushing this stuff on people. Did it for maybe 8-10 years off and on. No more. I thought by now you might have already come off the list as a pioneer and started school if I remember correctly? Whether you stay on as an MS is your choice. Another poster is staying on as an elder to try to help others from the inside. But living the split life is very difficult as I am finding out for myself. Do what you can to wean yourself off the Borg...that is what I am doing.
Lots of great support here on the JWD board...feel free to PM me if you wish (that goes for anyone here). If I can help in some little way, then I am happy to do so. That is how I felt as an elder, try to help others.
sincerely
SnakesInTheTower (of the tired Sheep Class)
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nvrgnbk
I was an elder for almost two years after I knew the "truth" wasn't the truth.
I tried to hang in there. It simply became impossible. I had to resign and walk away.
I wish you all the best in your exit from the cult.
BTW, welcome to JWD R.F.
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R.F.
I thought by now you might have already come off the list as a pioneer and started school if I remember correctly?
I'm working my way off of this slowly. My hours have dwindled for the last few months so I plan on pulling myself off in the next few weeks.
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Dansk
R.F and Snakes in the Tower,
I was MS and once tipped to be an elder. Once I knew I was in the lie I immediately exited. It cost me dearly but I just cannot live a lie. My story is here and I hope it helps: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/9/47295/1.ashx
Ian