New Here...Am I Apostate???

by Sirona_Celtic 20 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Sirona_Celtic
    Sirona_Celtic

    Hi. Im 25 years old and from the UK. I havent attended the hall for a couple of years. I looked into the JWs online because I knew in my heart that the guilt they make you feel and the mass destruction they preach just isnt right. Now, I realise that they are wrong.

    When I first found out, I sent a letter to the Watchtower. What I didnt realise is that my letter was not confidential and was sent to the local congregation for them all to read. I then had 2 elders visit and in this meeting one elder said I was influenced by Satan. All along, I'd asked questions sincerely, because at that point, I couldnt believe the lies the Watchtower had printed and I *really did* want an explanation. They couldnt explain so they sent the CO to visit. At this point I was getting afraid of being DF'd so I sat there and agreed with him.

    Ever since this I have kept my mouth shut about what I know. I dont want to put needless pressure on my JW family members and the 1 friend who still keeps in touch with me even though Im supposedly a "bad associate".

    I kept my mouth shut until this UN thing. The WTC bombing and the reaction of JWs really annoyed me, then the UN thing. So I printed out the 'guardian' article about it and showed it to my JW family member.

    Now I have an elder saying it is "apostate". First of all, its not apostate because its a newspaper article!!! I think this elder just has no clue. Anyway, Guess what? Its the CO visit this week....Im in for a visit probably. I think that I might say "yes" but only if I can have my own witnesses present.

    Its all very worrying and upsetting. I dont spread lies, in fact I dont even talk about it to people, but I think this congregation have been waiting for me to put a foot wrong ...

    Sirona

  • Latte
    Latte

    Welcom Sirona !

    I'm in the UK too!

    It is sad, dealing with these people who seem so self righteous and judgemental. I wish you the strength to deal with it, if it does come to another meeting with the elders; getting another witness to sit in with you is a great idea.

    E-mail me if you wish

    Latte

  • Pathofthorns
    Pathofthorns

    Welcome Sirona.

    Anyone is considered "apostate" by them that tells facts and truth that make them feel uncomfortable. Basically, logical thinking will eventually get you labelled as an apostate.

    Hopefully you will hang around here and see that so-called 'apostates' are not the monsters they have painted them to be, but are kind and tolerant people (for the most part ).

    As distastful as the term is, it is more preferable to be associated with the thinking and free people than to live in a fairy tale world.

    Hopefully you can lay low for a while in your congregation to avoid the aggravation of disfellowshipping. Take some time, do lots of reading and research and things will become clearer and you will know what decisions would be best for you in your situation.

    Avoid confrontations with the elders. They go nowhere and will generally have a negative outcome.

    Anyway, good luck and welcome.

    Path

  • mommy
    mommy

    Welcome Sirona
    We spoke in chat yesterday, and I am glad you decided to post!I remember the first time my mom called me an apostate...I was so upset, the dreaded evildoer Growing up a JW I was trained that anything apostate is evil and demonized and scary as hell for any JW to even be close to. So your reaction to this is normal. And your families reaction to this is normal.

    Now, you are out of the mind control and see life as it is. You can see that a normal newspaper article is just that, a newspaper article. But in the eyes of an active JW they see demons, and apostates. If the elders insist on talking to you I assure you, they will try to attach the word to you. Not because you are evil, but because they are scared.

    Please know, you are not the first or will you be the last who is faced with this situation. When I first left the org my mother would not speak to me for years. My younger brothers who still lived at home, would not speak to me as well, and this hurt me terribly. I had to learn all over again how to live. I was an 18 year old baby alone in the world. But if you asked any JW I was evil and needed to be shunned. Now I can have converstations with my family, and they don't go running out of the room. I was even labeled an apostate earlier this year

    So much is wrong with their approach, and their misplaced love. I can only hope that this will ride out for you, and you can continue to have a relationship with those you love. I know this website is not a the same as having your family. But you can come here and vent, and scream and cry if you want. Most of us are going through or have gone through this before. So welcome again, and let your hair down!
    wendy

    Blind faith can justify anything.~Richard Dawkins

  • Sirona_Celtic
    Sirona_Celtic

    Hi,

    Thanks Mommy, Path and Latte. :)

    It really is good to be able to come here and express how I feel to people who have been through it.

    I've been out for a couple of years like I said, and I have researched quite a lot. Its so difficult to keep this knowledge to yourself when you realise how corrupt the WTS is!

    I dont attend, so maybe they'll leave me alone...if I attended I'd be more of a threat.

    The word apostate is used by them to mean someone so evil (like you said mommy) and i cant believe Im branded as such for asking simple questions.

    Sirona

  • sweetone2377
    sweetone2377

    Welcome to the boards Sirona!

    It is terrible to be labeled just because you search for truth and meaning. This is wonderful place to find support, help in finding your answers. Please, let us know how the visit with the CO goes, and if you need us to lean on, we're here.

    "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled." ~ Matt. 5:6

  • Sirona_Celtic
    Sirona_Celtic

    Hi

    The CO has told my family that its "apostate" and "not true".

    Considering that all he had was the official UN and Guardian documents, and hasnt checked it out, Im amazed he can be so sure its "not true".

    Lets face it, anyone can contact the UN, and ask them for a copy of their NGO list.

    Sirona

  • Kophagangelos
    Kophagangelos

    The elder are stupid really! They cannot proof really the truth what the non-apostates-Website said! They must obey what the organization said! I am a " apostate " in their eyes now.

  • WildHorses
    WildHorses

    Look at the bright side.

    I would rather be an Apostate of the WTBTS by leaving them and the lies they teach as opposed to staying and becoming an Apostate to God.

    If you look at it reasonably, all the scriptures that the wtbts try to use against other religions also points to them. IMHO, all religion is false. We need to start trusting God and letting his Holy Spirit teach us instead of listening to man. 1st John 2:27

    "I don't want someone in my life I can live with, I want someone in my life I can't live without."

  • SixofNine
    SixofNine
    Am I an Apostate??

    More of a Jezebel, I'd say.

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