End of life

by Phil 23 Replies latest jw friends

  • Phil
    Phil

    I would like to thank all the people that have responded to my note regarding my condition.

    First of all, my daughter is aware of my condition. I feel that all "family" have a right to know of such changes in the life of other members. This is part of the sharing my life with the family, the good with the bad.

    My daughter was a jewel during the raising phase of child rearing. She is the baby of the family, and needless to say she was spoiled mare that the other. She was always an understanding child beyond her years. She was good at almost every endeavor she participated in. The only complaint I ever heard of was from high school. THe only complaints were she, from time to time did not get her homework in on time and the worst was she was a gabber in the classroom. Her devoting her life to a cult was and is the furtherest from my mind. When she did DO IT, I figured she would last a year or two and come to her senses and drop it. WRONG! She graduated from university and got tied into the JWs with the able assistance of her boy friend. Most of this activity was held from us at the beginning. How long? I don't know.

    When she was told of my condition she appeared to be upset. To me this is contrary to her actions. She would not share her feelings and still does not up until now. I have always told my children that they should express their feelings openly, verbally so that there is no doubt in our minds as to which she is going. THis has never happened. With the threat of becomming an enabler, I have been unable to bring up the subject of JWs. With the lack of openness on her part, we are left to guess what is on her mind. I have a scientific mind, and with that comes relatively simple solutions to problems. ie.,two plus two equals four. In the mind game it is never that simple. THe adjustment from one to the other is sometimes difficult if not impossible.

    So, I want to tell her what she has done that I think is wrong and why in the hope that she will see the light and errors associated with being a cult member and the difference between right and wrong. This is manly to prepare her for what is in store for her in the future. She has cancer and who knows, she may beat me to the grave. Her husband seems to be the fanatic in the relationship and if he is one of the persons at headquarters that do the searching on the internet to find the wayward members within the org. he will recognize this story, maybe. After I finish this document, I may just present it to her before I'm gone.

    Thanks again, I will use the data that given and will start searching for more such information on the internet.

  • Crumpet
    Crumpet

    Phil, I am very very sorry to hear of your illness and touched by your abiding love for your daughter. If you click on my profile theres a link to my short story - there are mainly facts rather than feelings in mine as its too painful to go into all that with my heart - so I just give the facts of my upbringing and what brought me to here. It needs updating to reflect my many joys and battles won since but the main frame gives an accurate picture.

    Keep posting and let us know how you are and if you have any joy reaching your daughter.

    ((((Phil))))

  • UnConfused
    UnConfused

    Phil I too stunned by your news to really repond with anything other than I'm so sorry. I'll respond later to this, but you should know as soon as she gets a whiff of what you are doing she'll not read.

    Do you have time to ask questions now of her?

    Such as "Why did the Society teach that Jesus returned in 1874 up until 1929?"

    Let her answer that while you are still alive to get some thought juices flowing

  • Phil
    Phil

    I noticed that I have received some messges in my inbox. This appears to be a way to communicate with other members in private. How do I do that? What is the process.

  • Tyrone van leyen
    Tyrone van leyen

    Phil I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. I know your time is limited but if her mind is set on this religion I would suggest that the volume of your info must be low density and high impact. I'm sure you will get plenty of help in this and can sort through it yourself. I might also suggest that you get her some info on what a painful expereince it is to grow up this way if she plans on raising kids in this. She has not a clue what she's is about to unleash on future generations of her offspring. Forgive me for being blunt but if time is limited you have to make her understand that its not just her that will be effected. There is a huge difference betweeen growing up in it and accepting it as an adult. If you wish to see some stories check out " The Wanderers" thread on what was it like growing up as a Jehovahs Witness. Take care brother, and my love goes to you.

  • zack
    zack

    Very sorry, sir.

  • MsMcDucket
    MsMcDucket

    Phil, I wonder if you can make it your "death bed" wish for her to research the religion? I don't know how mentality obtunded she is now and if anything will get through. I wonder how much her husband has to do with keeping her away from you? Will she read the letter? Will her husband let her?

  • flipper
    flipper

    Phil, so very sorry. I have sent a story to your pm. Just want to add that I agree with Tyrone's post. She needs to know what she's getting into and the impact on her future and children. Peace to you flipper

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    So sorry to hear of your health issues, Phil.

    One problem is clear. Your daughter will likely reject anything that she believes is coming from 'apostates', those who have left her religion. And that includes most of us here. There is a man, a former member of the Governing Body of Jehovah's Witnesses, named Ray Franz. Though he is considered also an 'apostate' in Jw terms, his writing style is free of bitterness and gall often found in ex-jw's historical writing. In line with another poster's suggestion; could you ask her to read his books, as a final gift to you her father, to at least give the 'other side' a hearing ear. Can you do it in such a way as to prevent her from believing you are attacking her religion?

    His books are Crisis of Conscience and In Search of Christian Freedom. They are available on the internet for a nominal price.

    If my father asked me to read anything, as his final request to me, I would read it without question. Though we do not agree on many things in life, I have never doubted that he has my best interest at heart. I could not refuse. [As an aside; I was a dyed in the wool Jw for better part of 40 years, and I read these books. When I closed them, I never went back to the cult.]

    If my personal story is of interest- that I would provide also.

    Jeff

  • AudeSapere
    AudeSapere
    Phil wrote: I noticed that I have received some messges in my inbox. This appears to be a way to communicate with other members in private. How do I do that? What is the process.

    To see your Private Messages (pm's), click on the word 'Inbox' below your name at the upper left side of this page. You will then see a listing of all the messages.

    If you are are using a Mac, though, I don't think you can use this feature.

    You may have to use a pc to use the pm feature (maybe a local library or a friends house??)

    Sorry to learn of your illness.

    -Aude.

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