To have freedom of mind was what I always wanted. It so simple really, yet something that I was denied for a full 10 years in the org. The mindset cripled me, depressed me, stifled me, estranged me from my non JW family, very nearly killed me. If you look at my post history, like most on here, you will see that I have been through a very broad range of emotions in the last year or so.
So today, I sit and analise things.
Despite the many trials of a divided home, I am free! As I said, it was all I wanted. I used to look at people. People like my non JW family (I was the only one in), and all I wanted was some of that. Freedom to simply be true to myself. Trying to reconcile my thoughts to that of the WTS was very difficult for me to do. I simply didn't believe it all. So, trying to set the lead as an M/S and father of 2 was killing me. I was suicidal at one point. Such a shame for a young guy like me to be in this state. I had so much to enjoy and yet I couldn't. Shame on me for not acting sooner.
Today, I rejoice in the years I have ahead of me. I have used my freedom to be a responsible person. To be a loving and great father, to show true love to all whom I come into contact with. To be happy in what I can provide for my family.
Not to depress myself at what I am not doing. The 'nothing is ever good enough' attitude of the WTS just kills the soul.
I love life. I am for the first time in a long time steadying myself and enjoying the simple things.
Bliss!