by Panda 18 Replies latest jw friends
So for me it's been 9 months since Mr.Panda died. People have said it would "get easier" "fade" etc. For me none of this has occurred. I don't even have to actively think about Nick I just get overwhelmed with missing him. Good grief we had been through so much together.
I'm not asking how to deal with this, but I wonder how you other widows have been going through the grieving process?
Care to share?
Oh, Panda, what a painful situation. I almost lost my husband 3 years ago. He has recovered and we carefully watch his health. I still find myself checking him every morning to make sure he is alive. I wonder what I would have done. Find new activities, find new friends, volunteer in some helping groups probably with children. Remember the good times.
Love, Blondie
I am so sorry Panda and no one has the right words to help with this kind of sorrow, i know because my sister just lost her husband in January. Her emotions have been like a roller coaster and i am sure yours have been as well.
I am hoping your family is staying close and as Blondie said, try to stay busy so your mind can take some time off of thinking if only for a short time in hopes that time will make it somewhat easier.
I am not in your situation but these are the things we are doing with my sister in hopes that it makes time pass and the memories of her loss less painful.
((( hugs to Panda )))
They say that the first year is the worst, what with all the anniversaries, etc., and that with time the pain eases but never totally goes away, eventually becoming bearable.
{{{hugs}}}
Poor poor panda! Lots of feel like widows here I can assure you, but not all have had to experience it literally. I believe Snoozy is - maybe she will pop in and say hello and share her experiences.
(((Panda)))
When my Dad passed away it was very difficult for my mom of course. He had just retired and they had planned on traveling. She found it helpful to talk about my Dad and we would share memories of him. One never forgets their loved one, but eventually the loss finds its place and a person goes on living. Volunteering, staying in touch with friends, perhaps belonging to a support group, keeping active physically does help a person.
I'm happy that you shared with us Panda and I wish you peace. It's nice to "see" you again. I've missed you.
Love, Juni
Panda,
I understand what you feel! I'm a widower and it is 11 years this week....April 27th.....since my wife died. She was only 46 when she died.
As time passes the pain of loss subsides but the memories are always there. And each year around this time, it still hurts to know that she is gone.
My daughter is here visiting me from Florida this week and we have shed a few tears together talking about how much we miss her mom.
I've fallen in love with someone since (it didn't work out) and I've talked to other widows and widowers who have remarried and they all say that even with a new spouse, you still remember and love the first one. It just seems like a common fact. You never shut out the memory of someone you shared your life with.
I wish you well and hope you can cope. Cherish the memories!
HappyDad
Hi Panda...yes I am a Widow....
I am so sorry for your loss..it is like a part of you dies with the loved one. In my case it was really rough..I cried constantly..I mean REALLY cried. I feel like I will never see him again as I have no beliefs in a hereafter life..I wish I did. I think a small part of me still has a hope and that helps.
They say you have the memories but the memories hurt too bad. I can't even look at my photo albums.I want my life back. I want my partner back..my lifelong friend.We too were just starting to really enjoy life as he had just retired.I feel like my life has been ripped away from me.
What keeps me going? Just putting one step in front of the other..keeping busy. I think of all the traveling we were going to do and just get so depressed. I wish I had joined a support group right away. I really think it would have helped.
Others that haven't lost a husband just can't understand. Especially when you have been married so long. It is like losing your heart.
You will be in limbo for a while..it took me a year to get rid of his clothes. I did keep some of his shirts and wear them occasionally..It helps.
Since he was a JW I donated all his suits and dress shirts and ties to goodwill. I got rid of all the books and literature..but I did keep his bible..
Please feel free to share your pain with me as I know exactly how you feel. Sometimes the pain is just unbearable..I would rather be tortured.
The good side is you are still young. I am 65 and just really don't know where to go with my life..Do you work? How many children do you have?
My kids are just so busy.I have 3 but they have lives of their own now..I really felt alone. Also because hubby was a JW..(I left in 1975) we didn't really have any close friends..he saw to that. We mostly went to help his JW Mom as she had lost her husband a few years earlier. Now she has nothing to do with me as I am an apostate..
Funny thing..the witnesses said they were going to drop around to see how I was doing..they never came back. When hubby was sick..I had to beg them to find time to visit him in the short time he had left. He only lasted 5 months after diagnosis and they came to see him twice.
The laison committee did rush to the hospital to make sure he didn't get any blood but then they disappeared. Didn't even offer to say a prayer..I had to ask them.It meant a lot to him as he really believed the JW's had "The Truth".
Anyway..as you can see I still have a lot of issues with them..I felt they treated him horribly. He died thinking Jehovah was mad at him for something because no one came to visit him. Jerks...
Was your hubby a JW?
Anyway..enough rambling about me..please feel free to E Mail me or IM me.
And big hugs for what you are going through..it takes a long time but you will survive. My heart aches for you and what you are going through..
Snoozy..
They say you have the memories but the memories hurt too bad. I can't even look at my photo albums.I want my life back. I want my partner back..my lifelong friend.We too were just starting to really enjoy life as he had just retired.I feel like my life has been ripped away from me.
Hello Snoozy - dearheart! So sorry for making you have to drag this up - i knewv you would have some heartfelt experience to share though and hopefully your particular advice about a support group will be something Panda can take on. Thanks for replying to my PM and rallying round!
It makes me so mad to read how the dubs only visited twice while you husband was ill after much begging and yet were there to stop him having blood and then vanished!
