a little confused

emilyblue

I think my head is a little messed up from my recent relationship with a man who is a JW. I attended a few meetings and bible studies with an older woman who I met at the first meeting. I am NOT going to become a JW because I can't give up holidays and birthdays, but I do have a few questions. I'm a little disturbed at myself because I'm wondering what is so wrong about being a JW, even though I know I could never do it. It's just that the more meetings I went to, the more I began to think, "What exactly is so bad about being a Witness?". Everyone I met was so friendly and "normal." Not to mention well-dressed. I must admit the guys seemed a little nerdy, but nice. Before meeting my ex-boyfriend, I had always thought of JW's as weirdos and joy-killers. Actually I never really gave them much thought at all, because I think I've only ever had them knock of my door once. Learning more about it, it just seems like a very strict lifestyle based on very narrow beliefs, but sometimes I catch myself thinking that maybe it isn't such a big deal. Is this how people get sucked in? It's something that I NEVER would have thought of doing before I met my ex-boyfriend. I think my thinking might just be off because I am just now beginning to get over our recent breakup (2 days ago.)

needproof

The fact that you will begin to look at every other person as completely different to you, an unsaved victim in Satan's hands, you will become completely void of any other association besides fellow witnesses, put faith in a group of old men who are 100% liars and cheats. Why live in ignorance?

dedpoet

Learning more about it, it just seems like a very strict lifestyle based on very narrow beliefs, but sometimes I catch myself thinking that maybe it isn't such a big deal. Is this how people get sucked in

Yes, that is often how people do get sucked in.

The jws are, on the outside, very loving people, (and some are genuinely like that, but not all), who are trained to make people welcome to their meetings, and in the indoctrination methods of their religion. The watchtower organisation is very good at fooling people into thinking it is a benevolent, loving organisation with it's members best interests at heart, when in reality it is a high control cult.

I am happy to see that you have decided not to be a jw, emilyblue. Whatever other decisions you make in life, whether right or wrong, you are making the correct decision on that.

dedpoet

reneeisorym

Because in time you are no longer able to think. They tell you how to handle every situation without using your brain to come up with the right way to handle things.

You get casted away and loose your feeling of self worth (assuming you end up actually believing it all) if you make a simple mistake. No one ever helps you with your problems. They just disown you if you have them.

They discourage so many things that don't make any sense --- like using the internet, having wind chimes or dream catchers, saying "bless you" or "good luck", joining a civic club, doing community service, giving blood, taking blood transfusions, going to college, joining a sports team, eating lunch with a coworker, or even having a friend or spending time with a friend who's not a JW.

You loose having a relationship with God even though you are a religious person because you view God as a big mean angry guy. They take out Jesus from worship, and don't really encourage or pray for others during hard times. Their love is conditional and will end the minute you disagree with one doctrine. You must believe every single thing they teach without thought or question. -- Leave your brain at the door.

Their doctrine is not what the Bible teaches and is pure heracy. Just the point that you would be believing a lie is enough.

They are false prophets. They have predicted the end of the world and been wrong several times.

Their practices have even resulted in death. Their erronous teaching of no blood transfusions has had thousands die each year. They have let people be murdered for their lie in other countries (Malawi / WWII)

If you were to be raped, you could not report it to the police without threat of being disfellowshipped unless there was a witness to the crime. They allow pedofiles to be loose, unconvicted, and knocking on doors where children live.

Confession

Hi, Emily...I just posted this on another thread. Please give it a read; I think you'll find it most illuminating, given your specific circumstances.

Best, Confession

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/9/132184/2352044/post.ashx#2352044

Gerard

"What exactly is so bad about being a Witness?".

One must give up independent thinking and accept all comands without question.
Ban on blood transfusions is not biblical and it is a kind of human sacrifice.
Shunning.
Control through fear by implanting phobias.
Child abusers are sheltered from police because there were not at least 2 witnesses to their actions.
Isn't this enough? The JWs you are studying with have been training for decades to recruit people like you into the cult.

J-ex-W

Learning more about it, it just seems like a very strict lifestyle based on very narrow beliefs, but sometimes I catch myself thinking that maybe it isn't such a big deal.

Yep---right where *I* started too. It's fine for a time...like the bottleneck of a traffic jam.... It can be weathered for a time, but the longer it goes on the 'jam up' gets more and more restrictive and frustrating --especially after you've had your fill of learning the nuances and novelties of this setting and are ready to explore other aspects/ of living, life experiences, emotional/ social growth...........

Then the NO PASSING ZONE signs pop e-v-er-y-w-h-e-r-e, from out of NOWHERE.........................

And the bold painted double lines prevent you from going around to get past the line of stalled individuals in front of you, blocking your path, to the point ahead where you can CLEARLY SEE the road is free and beckoning ahead. As long as you don't care about moving forward.............. past the frustratingly SLOW and blocked up line of dead-end individualsin front of you...there is nothing wrong with setting your sights down this path.

Personal growth is a no-no here............growth "WITHIN" the very narrow parameters of the org.'s definition of 'spiritual pursuits' is the only thing encouraged/ rewarded here...anything is else is overtly or covertly cautioned against, and shunted aside as not worthy of our time and attention, in view of 'the times we live in' [last "minutes" and all].

If you want personal growth and varied experiences in your future, take a different path.... Honestly, take a different path!!!

J-ex-W

LeslieV

Hi Emily,

I would have to say what you experienced is how people are sucked into this cult. They do seem normal, and the majority of folks are nice people. No one here thinks that all JW's are bad, after all we were all JW's once. It is the religion itself that is harmful.

Do you as a woman want a voice at all? Because I am here to tell you that no woman in that organization has anykind of voice. It is one reason that there is so much discord behind those smiling faces. I always thought that many JW's smile at you, but are holding a dagger behind their backs. As long as you stay in control they are nice, but once you even quesion anything you will see Dr. Jykell and Mr Hyde mentality.

I know you are hurting right now, but in time you will thank your lucky stars that you got away from their clutches.

Leslie

asleif_dufansdottir

I am a graduate student and last week in my Anthropology of Religion we were talking about religious groups who proselytize (go out of their way to convince people to convert - not all religions do this), and how and why they are successful.

Basically, it all boils down to how social pressure/group dynamics affect us humans. It is incredibly powerful. You hang out with *any* group of people who share a common interest (car enthusiasts, gun owners, members of religious groups) and, in direct relation to how much you like them *as people* and how enthusiastic they are about their interest, you will almost always start convincing yourself to think in ways that conform to the group beliefs. The longer you hang out with any group the more you see the ways you're alike and discount the ways you're different...until you become disillusioned, when the process is reversed.

Humans base our opinions on the beliefs of groups (religious or otherwise) on our opinions of the *people*, first and foremost.

This is why religious groups that proselytize put a huge emphasis on being welcoming to new people, being friendly, and making the group 'look good' to outsiders. Because they often judge the success of the group based on their success in convincing others to join, it's a self-fulfilling prophesy...they convince *themselves* as they convince others. This is why JWs and other high-pressure groups want to get you to group meetings...get you to thinking of yourself as 'part of the group'...get that conscious and unconscious social pressure working on you as soon as possible. That's also why people who study for years and years *without* going to the hall rarely seem to get heavily involved.

I made the comment in class that I think we literally choose who to believe...not what to believe. The longer I study human social systems the more I'm convinced of that...

horrible life

Emilyblue, is this the first religion you have delved into? I have a funny feeling that it is. Please go to some other mainstream churchs. People are dressed up there also. They also are friendly, but are less nuts. Go to several different ones. Whatever you are looking for, you are looking in the wrong place.

Are you being sucked in, because they call it the "Truth"? Stop!! That is their "catch phrase". and that is all it is. Stay away and go to other churches, you will find many more friends, that are true friends. Let your JW friend know that you are going to a different church, and see how fast she drops you. This is not what you need, and want. The world is full of GREAT people. The JW's form their own little circles, They try to keep you in the dark. This is not what God intended.

a little confused

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