Wedding Bells? Advice please!

by shareye 9 Replies latest jw friends

  • shareye
    shareye

    Last night I got a text message from an old witness friend of mine inviting me to her wedding ceremony at the kingdom hall. I was disfellowshipped about a month ago but obviously word hasnt gotton far enough around...or has it and she's inviting me anyway??? Should I go? Is there anything saying I can't?

  • grey matters
    grey matters

    Well, I don't think she has heard the news, sorry to say. I know d/f'd family members have been able to attend the wedding at the Kingdom Hall, but I don't know if that would apply to a friend. And the usual rules apply - no talking to anyone. And no going to the reception, either.

    Sorry, I don't think it's right, but those are their rules.

  • sspo
    sspo

    Text her back and tell her your situation.

    You should not go as a DF Dub.

    Don.t screw up her wedding day.

  • sass_my_frass
    sass_my_frass

    She'll find out soon enough, make it her problem. Don't make it easy to forget you by being gracious and backing out. (But don't go, it would be awful!)

  • Stealth453
    Stealth453

    I would text and tell her your situation, and save yourself some embarassment. I was forcefully removed from my grandmothers funeral by 3 elders, and I'm not a little guy, as my father watched and did nothing.

    Of note...I was the one holding her hand when she died...not her son, my father.

  • UnConfused
    UnConfused

    OMG - Why couldn't you be at your grammy's funeral? Even as a DF'd person it shouldn't matter. Sue them, you'd win.

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    First of all, Witnesses make disfellowshipped people feel responsible to inform everyone of their status. YOU DON'T HAVE TO.

    I think the advice around informing your girlfriend are to hopefully avoid a confrontation at the hall, if someone speaks up. That would be awful for you.

    First of all, how close a friend is she to you? Do you want to go? Is it important to you to watch her vows? - if she isn't and you don't, don't torture yourself. If you don't go, and since this was a TXT invitation, I don't think a gift is required.

    Second, if it is very important to you to attend, how about TXT'ing back that you will be at her wedding, but you will be at the back. You don't have to tell her you are DF'd. I'd think she'd put two and two together anyhow.

    Is there any chance this old girlfriend HAS heard you are DF'd, and TXT'd you instead of sending a formal invitation to get all the "dirt" on your DF'ing? To twist the knife a little bit? To remind you of all you've lost? Maybe it's late and my mind is thinking along nasty lines, but it's just a thought.

  • Mrs Smith
    Mrs Smith

    I agree with sspo, it's her special day and as a friend you should respect that and not make it uncomfortable for her. I don't know how close you are, you may ask her if you could go if you really wanted to, but that may put you in a situation where you could get hurt. A friend's wedding is not the time to make a stand for you new found freedom. The PO's funeral now that could be a good time to gate crash......

  • Fe2O3Girl
    Fe2O3Girl

    I am sorry, a wedding invitation by TEXT? Who sends a wedding invitation by text?

    I wouldn't dignify that with a respnse.

  • defective light
    defective light

    I am sorry, a wedding invitation by TEXT? Who sends a wedding invitation by text?

    I wouldn't dignify that with a respnse.

    I absolutely agree ! Is this a new trend in todays society? ( I have seen this happen 2 times lately from people getting married texting / emailing wedding invitations) I would not respond, and let the bride contact you personally if she really cares

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