funny.....had to share it...

by found-my-way 8 Replies latest social humour

  • found-my-way
    found-my-way

    A blonde man showed up at work one day with a black eye. When his
    >>co-workers saw him they asked him what had happened. He told them
    >>it had happened at church. They didn't believe him, and wanted to
    >>know what really happened.
    >>So he told them, "I went to the church. I got on my knees and
    >>prayed. When I stood up to sing the hymns, there in front of me was
    >>the biggest woman I had ever seen. Her dress was stuck in her
    >>butt-crack, so being the gentleman I am, I reached over and pulled
    >>it out for her. She did not like that, so she hit me." The guys
    >>laughed and ribbed him about it all day.
    >>

    The next week he showed up to work and his face was beaten really
    >>badly! Again the guys asked him what had happened and he told them
    >>he'd got beaten up at church. Again they didn't believe him, so he
    >>explained, "I went to the church. I
    >>got on my knees and prayed. When I stood up to sing the hymns,
    >>there in front of me was that same big woman with her dress again
    >>stuck up her butt-crack."
    >>

    At this point the other men interrupted and said, "Please tell us
    >>you didn't pull her dress out of her crack again?"

    "No, the guy standing beside me did, and I knew she didn't like
    >>that, so I shoved it back in."

  • evetteto
    evetteto

    Yes, that was very funny!!!

  • free2think
    free2think

    LMAO, very funny fmw.......

  • Brother Apostate
    Brother Apostate

    That's a good one!

    Since we're sharing, here's a good one I just received from Britain:

    New Words for 2007



    * SALAD DODGER.

    An excellent phrase for an overweight person.



    * SWAMP-DONKEY

    A deeply unattractive person.



    * TESTICULATING.

    Waving your arms around and talking bollocks.



    * BLAMESTORMING.

    Sitting round in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a

    project failed, and who was responsible.



    * SEAGULL MANAGER.

    A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and

    then leaves.



    * ASSMOSIS.

    The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by

    sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.



    * SALMON DAY.

    The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get

    screwed and die.



    * CUBE FARM.

    An office filled with cubicles.



    * PRAIRIE DOGGING.

    When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and

    people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. (This also

    applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)



    * SITCOMs.

    Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into

    when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with

    the kids or start a "home business".



    * SINBAD..

    Single working girls. Single income, no boyfriend and desperate.



    * AEROPLANE BLONDE.

    One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.



    * PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE.

    The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it

    to work again.



    * ADMINISPHERE.

    The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and

    file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often profoundly

    inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

    This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" - needless

    paperwork and processes.



    * GOING FOR A McSH*T.

    Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're

    just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your

    declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is known as a

    McShit with Lies.



    * 404.

    Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not

    Found" meaning that the requested document could not be located.



    * AUSSIE KISS.

    Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.



    * OH-NO SECOND..

    That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just

    made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all').



    * GREYHOUND.

    A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.



    JOHNNY-NO-STARS.

    A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who

    works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges

    displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show

    their level of training.



    * MILLENNIUM DOMES.

    The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from

    the outside, but there's actually naught in there worth seeing.



    * MONKEY BATH.

    A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo! Oo! Oo!

    Aa! Aa! Aa!".



    * MYSTERY BUS.

    The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the

    toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people

    so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.



    * MYSTERY TAXI.

    The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake

    up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10- Pinter in

    your bed instead.



    * BEER COAT.

    The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise

    at 3:00am.



    * BEER COMPASS.

    The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after booze

    cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how you

    got here, and where you've come from.



    * BREAKING THE SEAL.

    Your first pee in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After

    breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be

    required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.



    * TART FUEL.

    Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women.



    * PICASSO BUM.

    A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's

    got 4 buttocks.

  • free2think
    free2think

    RFLMAO.....Too funny, but very true.

  • RAF
    RAF

    ... ...

  • Jourles
    Jourles
    * BEER COMPASS.

    The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after booze

    cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how you

    got here, and where you've come from.

    That explains so much...

  • found-my-way
    found-my-way

    LmAoOoOoooooOooo

  • mama1119
    mama1119

    Too funny!!!!

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