Back After a Much Needed Time Out

by XJW4EVR 11 Replies latest jw friends

  • XJW4EVR
    XJW4EVR

    The last time I posted was to advise you all of the shenannigans of my ex. She disappeared with my kids. It ended up she needed to move in with her mother for financial and personal safety issues. I will give your the front cover edition of the past few months. I petitioned for custody of my children and won full custody. She played every dirty trick in world to keep the kids. When I found out which Family Court judge would be adjudicating our case my heart sank. It was a female. Every single horror story that I have heard about fathers and female judges ran through my head. My attorney assured me that this judge had a very impartial track record, and that based on the evidence I stood a good chance of getting everything I wanted. I got everything I wanted. She must also pay me child support. She now has supervised visitation rights, and she must come down to Los Angeles from the Lancaster-Palmdale area.

    All this happened faster than normal, because I alleged that she had placed the children in harm with this "thing" that she was dating. My attorney even found out that he was a registered sex offender! Needless to say it was a mess. The kids are doing fine, though I had to move them into Los Angeles Unifed Schools. They won't get the kind of education here that they got here they used to live, however, I am making sure that my son will get the tutoring he needs in order to finish his junior and senior years with excellent marks. My son lucked out, in that he is in school with a number of friends he has made from the church I attend. Not to mention he is playing sax for the Worship Band (his idea not mine). He seems to have made the adjustment well.

    My daughter is going to be another story. She is in Jr. High. I have applied for a waiver to get her into a Junior High Magnet School for Gifted Children about 4 blocks from my apartment. My fingers are crossed in hope of getting her in that school. In that doesn't work, then I am looking into a local private school. She is really having trouble fitting in at the new school. There is no one her age that attends her school that she knows from my church. That will change next year. However I am concerned about her being a loner now.

    My wife and I doing great. My current wife has always loved my kids, and she dotes over them like they were her own. We moved into a threebedroom aprtment, and it is killing me. I don't know that I can find a house to buy in the area. The average home price is $875,000. However, that is not the most important thing. Right now, I need to provide a great deal of stability and security for my kids.

    As you can see it has been an active two or three months.

  • BlackSwan of Memphis
    BlackSwan of Memphis

    I've been wondering where you were and what was going on with the kids. Your last post left me wondering what was going to happen.

    I'm really glad that it all worked out and that your kids are in a safe and loving environment.

    It sounds like things are going well with your newly blended family. This is good news to hear.

  • misanthropic
    misanthropic

    That's great news. It's not very often that a dad is willing to take responsibility of his children like that, you sound like a wonderful father and they're lucky that they have you. I'm glad to see you put their interests first and it looks like it turned out for the best, so congratulations!

  • LeslieV
    LeslieV

    Lucky kids to have you and your wife. Give your daughter alittle time to adjust. Those ages to be the new kid in school is very difficult. Good Luck!

    Leslie

  • under_believer
    under_believer

    We haven't always agreed politically (hehe that is putting it mildly) but my heart really goes out to you in your situation, I'm sorry you had to go through that. I am glad everything seems to be working out.

    There's a chance that I might be going through something similar in the future (though I still have my fingers crossed), so your experiences are valuable for me to read.

    One question. My kids are younger than yours, so the experience might be different, but I'm afraid of the effect a breakup will have on them. Do you have any advice in that department?

  • XJW4EVR
    XJW4EVR

    Under,

    As far as kids go, they are a lot more resiliant than we give them credit for. My ex and I found that it was best to just communicate what was going on. Maybe not everything, and taking into account their capability to understand. I was very suprised at how the kids are doing. I have both of them working with trained counselors. Their mother did that also right after the divorce. I found that it was good for them to have a neutral thrid party to vent on.

    Thank you all for your posts. They are quite meaningful to me. I will be here off and on.

    One other thing, I am currently working for USC. Fight On!

  • juni
    juni

    Best to you exj. I'm glad you finally have found peace. I applaud you for doing what is best for your two kids. Your daughter is at a difficult age w/peer pressure. You're doing the right thing. Happy to hear that your son has found his passion.

    Juni

  • ozziepost
    ozziepost

    Thanks for the update, XJW, and we're glad you called back in.

    Stay strong and the best wishes to your family from downunder.

  • restrangled
    restrangled

    How wonderful you received full custody of your children! Sounds like you're doing a great job with the kids.

    Best wishes for a happy future for you and your entire family.

    r.

  • Dismembered
    Dismembered

    Greetings XJW4EVR,

    Nice to hear form you. Godspeed to you and your family.

    Dismembered

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