Close friend needs advice -- about to be cut off and lose inheritance

by Dogpatch 9 Replies latest jw friends

  • Dogpatch

    This is a plea from a close friend of mine who is a 4th or 5th generation JW who left a few years ago due to the WT's corruption. She lives next door to her mother and now another JW family related to her. She is looking for any advice from any of you that has been in a similar situation, how you dealt with it, and her options. She is really tired of dealing with these greedy people. She is also looking for any point-by-point responses to the new Kingdom News they put out a while back. The son of the new JW neighbors also does not want to be a Witness, and the parents are saying, "Let's cut off all these kids!" She will be reading this. yours, Randy Watters Hello Randy, I hope you are well! I need some help. Ever since the JW's came out with that pamphlet last summer, the one that says The End of False Religion is Near. My family have ganged up on my mom to cut me off again. My mom and I have been getting along great and everything has been fine, but she moved my cousin and his new wife and kids into the house behind mine a couple of years ago and they have it in for me. They don't like the fact that my mom and I have a relationship, so they are out to destroy it. My mom will turn 80 next month and they are telling her she has to cut me off or she will lose her salvation. That upset her so much she ended up in the hospital new years day, and of course I was the one who had to come care for her. They cant wait for her to die and they are trying to convince her to cut me off before that, so they can inherit everything. It makes me sick to watch what they are doing. Using the organization to hide behind their greed. Anyway, I want to know if you can recommend any X JW ministries, who are currently dealing with that pamphlet and how to refute it, or what the organization is currently saying to their members about the end of the world. My mom told me yesterday, she is going to Pioneer in March by making phone calls or writing letters, because is might be the last chance she has, because the end is any day now. I need some help to deal emotionally with the nonsense of the organization and just to be informed. Would appreciate any suggestions you have.

  • Outaservice

    Thats a tough one Randy. I think I would just sit down with her mother and have a good old 'heart to heart' and try not to be argumentive on any doctrine or subject, but just say she is having trouble with a few things. Also, be quite open with her feelings about the people living behind her and their hopes to inherit things when she is gone.

    I have heard of other similiar situations in the past, and God seemed to mess up the plans of such 'greedy' ones, but that is not always the case. Have her pray about what route she should take, and maybe God will give her wisdom. That's what I would do.


  • fullofdoubtnow

    Hi Randy,

    Here is a link to a pretty good rebuttal of the tract

    I hope that helps your friend. I should be shocked by the behaviour of her jw relatives, and would have been a few years ago, but nowadays I expect it. They are part of a business pretending to be a religion, run by greedy, power-crazed geriatrics, and I suppose some of them are influenced by the behaviour of their leaders.

    I hope your friend sorts her problems out, please give her my love and best wishes.


  • Paralipomenon

    Wow, that is sick.

    Greed has to be the worst human emotion. Personally I wouldn't try to do a point by point rebuttal of the tract. If she hasn't left the organization by now, I would think it would be highly unlikely she'd do so this late in life. She believes it is the truth and when her time comes, she will die peacefully and happy.

    What I would take exception to is the money grubbing relatives trying to meddle in her affairs. An education in what they are doing and label it as unscriptural or selfish I think would have a better effect.

    The fact that the mother has maintained a relationship with the daughter over the years shows that she values family. What the others are doing is wrong. The bible makes no allowances for cutting off family members. Did the prodigal son's father deny him his inheritance when he went off to squander it? He could have refused, reasoning "my other son is staying here with me, surely he would benefit more from the whole inheritance"

    I did recall a few months ago that someone on ebay was selling a course outline from the head office on "assisting" older members with estate planning. That is, how to leave everything to the society. There are definitely vultures afoot that prey on the elderly.

    My concern is that if the daughter starts attacking the mother's beliefs, she will seem very apostate and that will play right into what the mother's relatives are telling her.

  • Dogpatch

    good comments so far, keep 'em coming!


  • garybuss

    If something's going on I don't like, I only have three choices.

    #1. I can change it if it's changeable by me.

    #2. I can accept it as it is.

    #3. I can go crazy.

    Parents (or anybody else) who are Jehovah's Witnesses are not changeable by me.

    That leaves two choices.

  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    If your friend is already the caregiver to her mother she should be talking to her about making some legal contracts like Durable Power of Attorney, in case of ( Medically )impaired judgement . This will naturally include making some decisions now on whom mother wants to be able to write checks for bills and such . Having an open discussion with her mother and voicing her concerns that other relatives may not have her best interests at heart is important to take care now while her health is still good . Letting her know you have fears and concerns is the only honest thing to do. As far as the tract goes ....let it be . You both have different veiws and opinoins leave religion out of it , and dwell rather on mothers well being . At the mothers advanced age it would be of no benefit to her to rock her faith no matter how misplaced you know it to be , it gives her comfort .

  • Madame Quixote
    Madame Quixote

    I think you should definitely hire an attorney or seek some kind of professional guidance in the matter.

    My experience/observations over a similar situation reminds me that what troubledmind says about durable power of attorney is extremely important, while your mom is still healthy and mindful enough to make informed decisions.

    I know my jw g-ma has been bilked, if not abused, by my jw family and I am powerless to prove or establish any foundation to help her, as a d'f'ed and therefore discredited person in the family. Additionally, my gma has dementia and can't remember how she gets those little bruises she often has. Who knows where they came from?

    When my own JW mom tried to steal 25 G out from under grandma, it was only pure luck that got it back. At the time my jw mom had P.O.A.! The only reason she lost power of attorney is because of her own big mouth - preaching about doing something illegal; apparently, she must have assumed that it was legal and justified to take her own mother's money (while at the same time screaming for a divorce from her beloved jw hubby) and telling the guy at the bank making the transfer that gma had alzheimers and could not handle her own money. Of course, gma went along with the transfer because of my over-bearing mom.

    Anyway, mom's self-righteous jw attitude is what led her to justify taking money from gma without consulting any of the other non-jw siblings about it. When they got wind of it, she lost P.O.A.

    Unfortunately, the jw family has complete control of the health care situation of my gma and I suspect there's abuse and neglect, but can't prove it and the non-jw family are in denial and live farther away than I do. It's very sad to be in such a situation and to be powerless to do anything about it.

    Again, get an attorney right away. Keep notes, journal, diary of all weird and emotionally alienating things that are said or done against you by your family. That is very important documentation.

  • whyizit

    Depending on how close of a relationship she has with her mother: She should consult an attorney about the benefits to her mother of having her as power of attorney.

    **If her mother would make it a point to discuss this issue with her fellow JWs, it may not be a good thing to bring up at this time. She wouldn't want POA to be given to one of them!

    My mother and I were very close and she knew I had her best interests at heart, so she made sure my name was on her accounts and property, incase I would need to take care of things should she have an extended hospital stay.

    She also trusted that I would be fair with my siblings and had a short will drawn up, to make clear who was to be excluded and why (long-lost relatives that come out of the wood-work when money is involved).

    Maintain a good relationship and try to keep her life peaceful and easy. It is cruel for people to harrass her and hound her at this stage of her life. I'd ask an attorney about that as well. Maybe when you are POA, you could also get a restraining order, if they don't stop badgering her.

  • HockeyMullet
    Maintain a good relationship and try to keep her life peaceful and easy.

    I agree.

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