What to do?

by freyd 10 Replies latest jw friends

  • RAF

    One of my niece (JW now dfed) after living a bit more than one year with a guy (with no problem at all) then fell bad about being (in a so called irregular situation) that's when she actually asked for being dfed ... just after that began to bother her boyfriend with lets getting married NOW.

    That how their couple are now getting in trouble. So I've ask why are you in hurry you choosed to be dfed take your time now to think about every aspect of everything. She said she always dreamed to be married she is waiting since a long time ... (since when? even before she met the guy)SO ... SO ... SO WHAT? is that a good REASON?

    The guy (who is not JW) told her he is not ready (not that he does not love her) but some things have to be more clear for him to get there ... I mean this guy is quite mature you don't just run into anything even because of love ... for instance on thing he did put out is about the fact that she is JW and she couldn't understand that, as she told me that she don't push him to be a JW ... but I've told her that they are not the only one concerned since she is a JW (any Elder could be a third party in their couple for instance) and he knows JWs.

    That's when she told me So I'm not going to have a kid now ... I've asked who wants a kid ? ... she said both ... Who is in hurry? ... We are not in hurry she said ... SO WHERE IS THE PROBLEM NOW? Why would any want to have a kid with someone you still don't know if things going to be as fine as possible to be able to stay together or at least be mature enough to make sur the kid in any way will be ok (if together or not?)

    If one is not ready, the couple can't be ready ... (love is something, but committements ask for maturity and lot of selfcontrol) and in our familly (5 sisters I can't tell it's one of bigest weakness).

    Eddited to add : (and actually the only one who is not like that in the familly is my son - So I guess the guy knows that he will have to deal with something really hard to deal with - love can help but well I guess he needs to be sur about his capacity to bear it).

Share this