Buddhist funnies

by Introspection 4 Replies latest social humour

  • Introspection
    Introspection

    Okay, maybe these will seem weird but I know a few on the board will appreciate them.. As far as I know the following two are both true stories:

    While I was at UCLA, D.T.Suzuki (the famous Zen scholar, writer, master, etc) came to visit. They set up the Regents auditorium for him. So we were all there, the audience all excited, and out came the head of the Oriental department. The audience all quited down. The Head introduced "Here is D.T.Suzuki, world class Zen scholar, writer, master, etc..here he is!"

    We all sat in silence. This little guy comes out to the mike. Adjusts a pair of Glasses. This is him, we've seen pictures of him before, but he looks smaller and etc. He reaches out and taps the mike.

    A hollow ping sounds though the hall. He says "Zen Buddhism, Very hard understand, Thank you" and walks off stage.

    The audience went crazy! There was a mad struggle backstage, and then The Head lead Suzuki back out, a couple of the department professors with him. They set up some chairs, sat Suzuki down and asked him questions for an hour so everyone would be satisfied.

    But I can still hear his voice "Zen Buddhism, Very hard understand............ "

    (Written and contributed by Jonathan Greenlee)

  • Introspection
    Introspection
    (Contributed by Atanu)
    I am reading a book by Mark Epstein called Thoughts without a thinker, which is about psychotherapy from a Buddist perspective.I recommend it very highly. Anyway, I liked the opening chapter
    enough to share it with all my buddies. Here it goes.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    [begin quote]

    In the early days of my interest in Buddhism and psychology,I was given a particularly vivid demonstation of how difficult it was going to be to forge an integration between the two. Some friends of mine had arranged for an encounter between two prominent visiting Buddhist teachers at the house of a Harvard University psychology professor. These were teachers from two distinctly different Buddhist traditions who had never met and whose
    traditions had in fact had very little contact over the past thousand years. Before the worlds of Buddhism and Western psychology could come together, the various strands of Buddhism would have to encounter one another. We were to witness the first such dialogue.

    The teachers, seventy-year-old Kalu Rinpoche of Tibet, a veteran of years of solitary retreat, and the Zen master Seung Sahn, the first Korean Zen master to teach in the United States, were to test each other's understanding of the Buddha's teachings for the benefit of the onlooking Western students. This was to be a high form of what was being called _dharma_ combat (the clashing of great minds sharpened by years of study and meditation), and we
    were waiting with all the anticipation that such a historic encounter deserved. The two monks entered with swirling robes -- maroon and yellow for the Tibetan, austere grey and black for the Korean -- and were followed by retinues of younger monks and translators with shaven heads. They settled onto cushions in the familiar cross-legged positions, and the host made it clear that the younger Zen master was to begin. The Tibetan lama sat very still, fingering a wooden rosary (_mala_) with one hand while murmuring, _"Om mani padme hum"_ continuously under his breath.

    The Zen master, who was already gaining renown for his method of hurling questions at his students until they were forced to admit their ignorance and then bellowing, "Keep that don't know mind!" at them, reached deep inside his robes and drew out an orange. "What is this?" he demanded of the lama. "What is this?" This was a typical opening question, and we could feel him ready to pounce on whatever response he was given.

    The Tibetan sat quietly fingering his mala and made no move to respond.

    "What is this?" the Zen master insisted, holding the orange up to the Tibetan's nose.

    Kalu Rinpoche bent very slowly to the Tibetan monk near to him who was serving as the translator, and they whispered back and forth for several minutes. Finally the translator addressed the room: "Rinpoche says, 'What is the matter with him? Don't they have oranges where he comes from?"

    The dialog progressed no further.

  • Introspection
    Introspection

    If you like those I got them from this page:

    http://www.serve.com/cmtan/buddhism/Lighter/index.html

  • Seven
    Seven

    .

  • Introspection
    Introspection

    Hey Seven, do you still have that hotmail account? I sent a short note but don't know if it's my side that's slow, mail.com has been known to take a long time..

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