Go - the society's teachings split you from your friend in life don't let them do it in death. When you go to the funeral you honour the one who was, not the place he worshipped.
A quick question:
by Vinny 32 Replies latest jw friends
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Vinny
Okay, I went... and I am glad I went because it proved to me that I should NEVER go back again!
I saw over 400 people that I have known for nine years or more at that funeral. NONE of them would even say a hello. I simply disassociated less than one year ago, without committing any sin in the process. (I just elected to formally leave the faith rather than be handcuffed by them... I have NO regrets about that decision). I am walking right there with my wife, holding her hand (she has simply faded away), and numerous people would stop to hug her, thank her for coming and cry with her. Yet it was as if I was not even there at all, though I am RIGHT THERE. My 20 year old son, who was disfellowshipped several years ago and was also with us, and was also shunned entirely. He was Df'd at only 16, just months after his own mother (my first wife over 18 years ago) committed suicide with gun in mouth minutes after talking with us on the phone. He has since rebounded from that extremely difficult, minor-rebellious time (with NO help from the cong since was also shunned entirely since that point), but has rebounded very nicely with a good paying, very stable job, by getting married one year ago and by finding emotional support from myself as well as other NON-JW friends. There was nothing even close to warmth at this JW funeral for him either. He LOOKED depressed just sitting there.
Additionally, the talk was a disaster. Perhaps 2 minutes total was about Luke (the now deceased kid), while the other 30 minutes was the generic JW indoctrination attempts. It was embarrassingly obvious. Our non JW neighbor was also there and commented on just how little was mentioned of the PERSON she went there to remember. My step-daughter (still active JW... just returned from 6 mos in Europe yesterday), also thought the talk stank. That's because it did stink. The PO that gave the talk has no kids and is an organizational-man. By the book.
So, in a nutshell, you go to a JW funeral, get shunned the entire time, get to listen to some pompous, heartless elder do the boring, repetitive JW outline and then get sent home. You see all of the other politics involved in the process like the begging Ministerial Servants kissing up to the elders. The young kids all dressed up in suits/dresses, looking like their parents, doing what the parents command, so that these same parents get to look like good little obedient JW's. I went for Luke, though of course, he is now dead.
Unless my own family is the one that has died and being used as the JW indoctrination carrot, I am staying home. A lesson learned...
Many thanks for all of your contributions!! -
JWdaughter
I am sorry for the loss of your friend. You have my condolences, along with your son. I went through something similar a couple of years ago, and it is heartrending to see-both the one who is gone, and those (like your child) who loved them.
Edited to reflect that I finished reading the thread.
Sorry it was such a waste of time. Poor kid seems like such a nice guy-he deserved better than that! I'm sorry he wasn't respected properly in this.