Where will all this lead?

by JWdaughter 6 Replies latest jw friends

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  JWdaughter

  Now that I am questioning the entire issue of God, who knows what I might 'believe in' later. UFO's? Hey, why not? Actually, I have never dismissed it entirely. Who knows what God is up to? If there is one. . .I always figured there was more to the universe than I will ever understand. I have decided not to close my mind to possibilities. I doubt I will dwell on it though. . . I have Scottish Presbyterian ancestors-which precludes my ability to take things like flying saucers terribly seriously.

  I *am* the one, though, that my dad told, "having an open mind is a fine thing, but don't open it so much that your brain falls out." Which probably tells you I have always been a little more fanciful than those pragmatic Scots would perhaps approve of. I used to have this 'sleep paralysis' thing though, and it definitely made me realize that life wasn't quite as cut and dried as you think it is when you are 8 years old. That is a freaky thing to experience and makes one wonder what else is possible. Plus, one of my favorite movies is "Somewhere In Time". I also think I am a teensy bit psychic-my brother called it psychotic:) Sometimes I have very good instincts in any case.

  Has anyone else ever gone from a bland, non political, black/white, oatmeal-like JW to this person who realizes life is like a explosion at Rhodda? Filled with color and unexpected pattern and messiness? Where some things can't be explained and it doesn't even matter if you have all the answers anymore? You are just so glad you are finally allowed to ask the questions!
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  FMZ

  JWdaughter... I guess you could say this has happened to me.

  To be honest, leaving the dubs threw me into a tailspin, all of a sudden everything I knew and held dear was ripped from me. I was in a dive towards the ground for a while there, and ended up divorced (my ex-wife wasn't a dub). I decided it was time to rethink everything, from the ground up. I read and studied everything I could get my hands on, I experienced everything, with new eyes. It was amazing. And I have come to realize, that no matter what happens, it's all about love.

  I am now a regular volunteer with the St Louis Volunteer Meetup group, I take part in charity events, I fly around America meeting apostates old and new, I am constantly learning, but above all... I am living in love, and all the pain that the dubs caused over those 20 years of my life has already been outweighed by the massive amounts of love I have experienced in the past 2 years.

  It's a beautiful thing.

  FMZ
• 

  Tyrone van leyen

  Sometimes I have a dream buts its not really a dream . I'm sleeping but I'm coscious are darkness and afeeling of gloom and evil. I go to turn on the light to escape the feeling and only dreamed I turned it on. I feel trappd in my sleep and can't wake up. I do this a couple of times before I finally become conscious. It gives you a very trapped feeling. Is this what your experiece of sleep paralysis was like? I think I'm the same age as you but the excitement you exude over dicovery seems like an epiphany. With me I,m not as enthusiastic.
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  grey matters

  Has anyone else ever gone from a bland, non political, black/white, oatmeal-like JW to this person who realizes life is like a explosion at Rhodda? Filled with color and unexpected pattern and messiness? Where some things can't be explained and it doesn't even matter if you have all the answers anymore? You are just so glad you are finally allowed to ask the questions!

  Yeah, that was really well put. I don't know how to add to it other than to say that I have been amazed at what I have been able to learn and the people I have met and gotten to know once I left the dubs little domain.

  To be honest, leaving the dubs threw me into a tailspin, all of a sudden everything I knew and held dear was ripped from me.

  I understand that. I went through a tailspin experience as well. Fortunately, I didn't lose my head completely. I was able to stay married, largely due to the patience and understanding of my wife. But it was difficult not to do what I had seen others do, what I call the "pendulum effect", where people go to the other extreme. I got therapy. That helped a great deal. One of the things my therapist said that made a lot of sense was "If you slide off of the road into a ditch, it doesn't matter whether you are in the right ditch or the left ditch, you're still in a ditch. It doesn't do any good to get out of one ditch simply to cross the road into the other. The thing to do is to get on the road and stay on the road". In other words, be balanced. Don't go to either extreme.

  I have come to realize, that no matter what happens, it's all about love.

  Right on, man. I'm still trying to find my way, but I have a feeling that is where I am heading. The theme of the bible is God is Love, right? And I'm sure it's not just the bible. Love is a spiritual value that transcends religious affiliation, culture, and time.

  I've been able to volunteer for Habitat for Humanity. I'm really swamped at work right now, but I'd like to be able to do that on a more regular basis.
• 

  fifi40

  Well there's my mother......................a brief history of her is as follows.............26 years with my dad, 5 kids with him, became a JW along with my dad before I was born but after she had had my 2 older brothers. She ran off with another fella when I was 13 and was df and my younger sis and I used to see her about once every couple of months. Her partner then died and she was on her own for about 4 years and then got reinstated. Shen then stopped attending and drifted off and then left the UK and went to live in Australia for about 10 years with Stan her new partner unitl he died. She is now back in the UK and lives about 15 mins away from me. Sometimes she talks like she is still a practising JW and she will go on about the things that are happening in the world but I try not to get her started on the subject as it is not one I like talking to her about. But a couple of months ago she was into UFO's and how she thought that might be Gods way of sorting the earth. I was like WHAT. Where does she get this stuff from. To much daytime television me thinks. So we are going out with her just before christmas and she is coming over to ours before we go. And my hubby is talking to me before she arrives about something to do with religion and I say to him "Whatever you do dont mention it to my mum". Well she does her usual trick which is you tell her to come at say 12 and she turns up at 10.30 and your not ready. So as I am disappearing off upstairs for a shower I hear her ask Phil "So what do you think to UFO's". Needless to say I was giggling to myself quite a lot.

  So yes I think some of us on leaving the JWs can start thinking elsewhere even to the point of making it up (next she will be telling us she was abducted by aliens) but she is 72 and has a to much time on her hands to think about this sort of stuff.
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  RAF

  Filled with color and unexpected pattern and messiness? Where some things can't be explained and it doesn't even matter if you have all the answers anymore? You are just so glad you are finally allowed to ask the questions!

  I've always like the idea of being free ... in every aspect I can be ... wanting to have answers is only about curiosity but about life in its meaning and value the answer will always have something to do with "respect" (life is beautifull by itself).
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  jaguarbass

  I was raised as a witness and I always asked questions. I was always chastised and ridiculed for asking them. Now after being out of the organization since 83, I continue to ask question. I google them. I'm not criticized for asking them. But I really havent found any satisfying answers.

  I'm talking about questions and answers to the meaning of life and our existence, God, creation, evolution etc.