Socially Stunted?...you betcha.

Lumptard

My apologies if this has been done to death, but I was just curious how many of you feel that you have been socially crippled as a result of your association with the JWs? Granted, this probably affects people who were raised as JWs more than those who chose for themselves, but I just wanted to see if anyone else has had the same experience...Also, how did you work through it if you were able to?

seven006

I think the more recognized term here is “Socially retarded”. Some get over it, some do not.

candidlynuts

i've struggled with it. i've overcome a lot but i still have problems worrying about people judging me or wondering what their motives are for wanting to hang around me.

Morocco

I almost did a post like this the other day, but didn’t for some reason. I was severely stunted when I came out of the clutches of the Tower, but over time I’ve learned to almost completely erase those effects. I can see now how far behind my sister and mother are, and I can see the direct correlation between their social/emotional retardation and religion. Most religions, if not all, (and especially the Witnesses) foster hatred, circular logic, paranoia, bad social skills, and the one that has scarred me for life : co-dependant thought. I never once learned to trust in myself because I always credited God, Jesus, fairies, or the GB for whatever insight or wisdom I acquired. I never once knew what it was like to have faith in ME, that I’m not stupid, that I’m not “misguided”. It’s only now, late in my twenties, that I am learning that I CAN do complicated things, and they ARE worth doing. They kept my mind and independence for years, but now that I have it I’d rather die than give it up. Sorry, I had to spill my guts for a second.

MegaDude

Good words indeed, Morocco.

Apostate Kate

Hi Lumptard and welcome to the forum. Your name is cute.

I went through an awkward stage socially. It took a few years to learn how to relate and care about people. I've been out 15 years now and I am still learning how to put effort into being a friend to someone. How to love unconditionally, and not take things personal.

Has anyone else suffered from social anxiety after leaving? That was intense for me for several years. Now I am a social butterfly, active in the Community with lots of really cool friends. I did have therapy and medication during my transition to freedom.

We may always carry the scars but we do heal.

Roger

I find the social anxiety the hardest thing to deal with.

Not really sure quite where mine came from. I know I didn't have it before I left, but then I was young and maybe going to develop it anyway. My prime suspect is the mental anguish that comes with having to leave behind your friends that you grew up with, have to stand up and justify your beliefs to grown men in a private room when you're little more than a boy yourself and then to be cold shouldered by your parents for years until the dust settles.

I still struggle with it to this day, and it comes in waves. I'm not convinced I'll ever be free of it neither. But, I'd rather put up with this than have the blind reassurance I had as a witness.

juni

All of the comments here are good.

Definitely. Emotionally stunted- I've got past a lot of it and have grown as a person. For 21 years, my decisions were influenced by the religion. That's where the danger lies - having some manmade organization dictate what is right and wrong in God's eyes. For ones like myself who wanted to please God, I fell right in line. Followed their direction and my family life deteriorated. Eventually to the point of suicide as I felt I couldn't do enough or be good enough for God.

Juni Welcome Lumptard and Roger.

searching4truth

I am still very socially retarded and intreverted