I feel uncomforatable when my children ask about God....

flip4diz

I don't know what to say.

For some background:

I have been out for 10 years. It was the birth of my son, who just turned 11 ... that brought me out. I got involved with a playgroup before he turned one and I remember thinking what good people they were and how I couldn't believe they were sinners and would die just because they were not JW's. I told them several years after we met that on nights when I was scared about my decision I would think of them ... and knowing they were good people who I knew God would not punish helped me through.

I still have not reached that final hurdle of what the heck to believe. Born into the JW's and never knowing anything else really ruined all religion for me. It's probably only been the last 5 years that I don't get scared when a bad storm rolls over the horizon ... or when I hear of natural disasters catching my breath.

I'm wondering how much longer it's going to take me to even accept God in any way shape or form. I don't know what to believe. Evolution? Creation? Divine Evolution?

So my kids ask about God, Death ... etc. I don't know what to say because I no longer believe anything.

Flip

Quandry

I agree, it's hard when you feel turned off by religion.

One thing that I would keep in mind is, it's O.K. to say you don't know. If my child asked about how TV works, I'd have to say I didn't know.

I personally feel that the Bible could provide some answers. I do not feel that just because the ones in the WTS did not measure up to being the "one and only channel to God" that he did not provide the Bible. Perhaps you could read some of it together from time to time. It would aquaint him with God's own words, allowing him to have a basis for knowledge, without leaning to any one religion. When he gets older it would equip him to make up his own mind on things. He has the right to know enough to formulate an opinion.

Many common quotes used by people everywhere come from the Bible, as well as references to Jesus and his teachings, and should become known if nothing else than part of a basic education.

Yes, it is hard. But you are a good mom for caring and wanting to provide answers for your son.

Warlock

Born into the JW's and never knowing anything else really ruined all religion for me.

But don't let this ruin God for you.

Warlock

JamesThomas

Hi, Flip.

Tell them the truth. Tell them you don't know.

What we do know is, is that there is an infinite universe (and there may be countless universes). It's true Source and Sustenance must be at least as wondrously vast, and so unknowable by the restrictive limits of the mind.

To give credit for everything to some tribal deity, may not only be extremely foolish, but may diminish and dim our sense of reality by shifting conscious attention from the actuality of the present moment, to a fictitious story in our mind.

Prolly best not to know, than think and believe that you do.

j

bigmouth

This happens from time to time and I sometimes struggle when my kids ask a Bible type question.

I find myself stating that "Jehovahs Witnesses believe......." and usually add something like, "but I don't really agree with that now" and explain why.

I've got 6 kids from 11 to 21 so I can't go into detail with some of them or their eyes glaze over

searching4truth

I can totally rellate. I don't have children but I am scared to death about what I will teach them when I decide to have them. I know I don't what them raised in the mentally and spiritually restricted jw way that i was, but I think they should at least be aquainted with the jw religion so that they can understand my family that is still in and so they can make informed choices on their own but in that case i suppose they would need to be exposed to alot more options than just jw vs. ex-jw.

Scully

There is nothing wrong with telling your kids that you don't know the answer to their question. You can say that lots of people believe in lots of different things and that you haven't decided what sounds the most reasonable to you.

One thing that has changed for me since leaving the JWs is that I no longer have that "absolute certainty" about my beliefs. In a way, it's liberating and refreshing, not having to be 100% certain that I'm right on "the god question" as one of my kids calls it.

JWdaughter

Your kids don't want doctrine or theology. Tell them the basics of what God is understood to be. Tell them things that you think, things you like, things that make you question. Open it up. Be honest. Don't worry about what 'religion' they have. God is a fairly simple universal concept if you leave the religion out of it. Discuss the idea. Maybe exploring it with them will give you some more clarity, but knowing that you don't think you know everything in some dogmatic way will be freeing to the children as they develop their own beliefs. Kids aren't about the trinity, or other dogmas/theology/doctrines. They just want the basics. And if they want your take on it, they want your honest take on it. Be curious with them.

This is just my opinion, but you will often find that parents think kids need a lot more information than the children are really asking for. "Where do babies come from"? Our friend had their baby at home and my daughter wondered why we had to go to a hospital to have her. Her, 'where do babies come from' question did not entail a biology lesson, and listening to her actual question saved me from a ridiculous explanation to a 4 year old. (who got more of the story as she actually needed it.)

jgnat

I really like how JWdaughter laid it out. Children take their cues from you on what the world, and God is like. If you are ethical, kind, and loving, that is what their internal image of God will be like.

How about reading a book together, something outside the norm, and have a discussion about it?

http://kids.nypl.org/reading/recommended2.cfm?ListID=284

Little Bo Peep

I think this is a problem many struggle with when they leave. A good friend from 20 years ago just called yesterday, having visited his old cong from the past and hearing rumors about our whole family leaving. Instead of believing everything, he decided to call for himself (which only a couple others have bothered to do). He was excited to find others who have left too. He still goes, and keeps his views pretty much to himself for his familys sake, but unfortunately, he doesn't even know if there is a god. We told him, many, and many on this forum I think, are perhaps agnostic, believing in a supreme being, creator, but not really sure if he is having a hand in man's affairs today. He was relieved to know he wasn't an athiest. Personally, I have found comfort in reading the NT, using various translations. It has been a source of strength for my spirituality. One of my little granddaughters has recently ask her mom to read the Bible at night to her (she's 8), and this is bringing up some questions. Like others have said, there's nothing wrong in saying you're not sure of the answer. I remember Jesus words about the greatest commandments, so instilling these principles in our childrens lives will do much to making them happy, valuable citizens as they grow up. I also feel it's important to let them know why you left because if there are any relatives still in the WT, eventually they will be putting pressure for them to return to save themselves and you. One JW in our old cong told his young granddaughter he was sorry she was going to die at Armageddon. My mom-in-law still tells my nieces about what will happen if they don't listen to her. So, there is great pressure on these little ones, and the best defense for them is knowledge.

Best of luck with your young ones.

Peep

I feel uncomforatable when my children ask about God....

Share this