I saw a very old JW in the grocery parking lot today.....

by restrangled 19 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  restrangled

  She was moving slowly, and her back was curved over. I was leaving in my car and honked my horn....I thought it was my aunt.....she turned........It was my mother! Oh dear god, my heart broke. Within 6 months she has aged 10 years...her back never curved, she was always as tall as me.

  She came over and sat in the passenger side of my car and we talked for half an hour with the engine running......She said "You made my day, .....just to see you"

  GodDxxm this stupid fuxxed up cult. I have so little time left with her, this is not right, nor is it fair......she has sent them enough money to send 2 kids to Harvard.....yet someone in that bogus religion talked her into shunning me.

  Goddxmn I'm angry.

  r.
• 

  BabaYaga

  I'm so sorry, Hon... but guess what... she didn't shun you, did she?
  
  Go to her. Spend time with her. Do what you have to do... live YOUR life with no regrets.
  
  Love and strength to you,
  Baba.
• 

  restrangled

  BabaYaga,

  Yes she did shun me for the inital few months. But it didin't work like they said it would. So all thats left is lost time and lonliness for her and anger from me.

  I'd like to get that CO around the throat and strangle him like I have been....restrangled.

  r.
• 

  becca1

  You made your mom's day today. Keep it up. You won't be sorry.
• 

  BabaYaga

  As I said, Hon... live YOUR life with no regrets. She wants you back. You talk about lost time, and more time is being lost every day. Do what you can to get rid of your anger... before it is too late.
  
  I have lost both of my parents.
  
  A beloved friend of mine quoted to me "Hatred is drinking poison and waiting for someone else to die." (I have since found that it is paraphrased from Malachy McCourt: “Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”)
  
  You are not hurting the Circuit Overseer. You are hurting only yourself (and your Mother, for that matter).
  
  Live with no regrets. Pray, burn candles, get counseling, do what you have to do to get rid of the anger before it is too late, and go to her.
  
  Love,
  Baba. Edited to add: I don't want to sound fussy and condescending, Dear Restrangled, I really don't, but you are the STRONG, THINKING, and REASONING one here (you are the one who was smart enough to get out!) You know what it feels like to really believe that stuff. Just be strong... and do everything you can to have compassion... for they know not what they do.
• 

  Good Girl or Bad Girl?

  I can relate, restrangled. best to you.

  Love,

  Good Girl
• 

  restrangled

  Thankyou Baba,

  If only she would. We have talked several times on the phone and its always, well, you haven't quit smoking so I can't see you.

  I've been out since I was 18, and this suddenly happened 6 months ago.

  So I will take your suggestion and try to get rid of the anger. I tend to internalize it which becomes a cycle that doesn't seem to have an end.

  I guess this is why I am here on JWD.

  Thanks for your posts.

  r.
• 

  Warlock

  Go to her. Spend time with her. Do what you have to do... live YOUR life with no regrets.

  I'm with Baba on this one, re. Just do it.

  Warlock
• 

  whyizit

  No matter what it takes to sneak under the WT wire, see your Mom as much as you can. Time is precious! Someone once said they had yard sales with their JW Mom, because it was considered "doing business". Which was okay. Whatever it takes. My heart goes out to you both.
• 

  Quandry

  I am glad that you had some time with your Mom today.I am sure it made your day as much as her's.

  I would like to comment on something you posted. Evidently you are smoking and have been for years. My wish for you is that you could give up this enslaving habit. It is not worth it. According to your info, you are 47 years old. You must be aware of what is happening on the inside of your body due to this terrible noxious habit, even though you may feel little or no effect now.

  My mother and father both smoked for years. I saw my father die gasping for breath because he had emphasema that led to pneumonia. He had lost all of the strength he had, and that was alot as he spent years as a tough Marine drill instructor.

  Mother is still alive, but must have an inhaler nearby and can barely walk because smoking makes the bones porous. She has aged tremendously because of this habit.

  You struggled so hard to get out of enslavement to the WTS, please work just as hard to free yourself of this. You sound like a person who has been through alot but has much inner strength and resolve. You deserve a long life without health problems that smoking brings on. I am rooting for you!!!! You can doo eeet!!!!!