need help...really....

by crazito 6 Replies latest jw friends

  • crazito

    Short story:

    Never had a real religious formation until I met the witness in my teenage years.

    Not everything has been bad but most of my friends there and exwife have been cheaters, liars and hypocrites...

    I called it quits this year as I could no longer swallow their truth. I remarried a supposedly "christian" 23 yr old woman that has shown me how bad things are 'out here'...

    Regarding her i have a question... those of you that continue to uphold bible's principles and love for our dear creator please advise on the following situation:

    Met her online just before da'd myself. We married four months later and only one day after meeting in person...

    I found out she married me to get away from her poor country and from a longtime worthless exboyfriend that lives in a nearby island and that never could put his act together.

    Three months into the marriage she ran away back to her home country "emotionally' supported by this exbf. Three months later started looking for me once again apologizing for her immaturity and realizing what she already knew about this man. I decide to visit her last month and we had a nice reconciliation getaway. We both intimately renewed our vows but this only lasted for a week or so. This past three weeks or so she became uncooperative once again. She has taken the stand once again (as she did the first time) that she needs time "alone", etc, etc. But just like the first time when she left, I caught her once again chatting with that individual...

    I know i should have some dignity and some of my jw friends tell me I should just divorce her and not worry about having scriptural grounds to do so as im no longer tied with the watchtower.

    That is the issue. Although it was an erroneous marriage to begin with, what's done is done and I feel totally accountable to God (not the watch) to now make this marriage work... to me this is like a teenage girl becoming pregnant out of wedlock and taking responsiblity for her baby as it is still sacred regardless of how it was conceived...

    If anyone can help on this i would appreciate...

    and i just don't know what's worse...if the "world" or them jw's....

    I mean it seems that there is really no one out there to trust any longer, including family, etc.

    well...i feel at times that if i have to live among liars at least i should do it among the ones i know...this sucks

  • bernadette

    Hi crazito and welcome

    I don't have any advice to give you other than to say stick around and give yourself time and space to recover from all the bad things that have happened to you.


  • AudeSapere

    You already posted this identical thread yesterday.

    Here's the link so we can keep it all together:


  • mouthy

    How sad.... Your wife does sound imature & you were not thinking straight to marry that quickly I believe the WT teachings had a lot to do with rushing into this marriage. Feeling that to have sex with her you had to marry...... She might say she is a Christian- but it isnt the Talk that makes you a follower of Christ it is the WALK that identifies that. I would not think about what the WT says about your dealings If I were in your shoes ----I would pray about it, then consider if you could keep putting up with the other man in her life. Is she using you? Do you really love her?or are you lonely....? If I was you I would not rush into it so quickly( unless your with her now) have a cooling period , see if she is really earnest about making this a happy marriage. Otherwise if you bring kids into this partnership it will be hell for them...You wouldnt want to make other lives miserable surely....
    You asked I gave my opinion


  • reneeisorym

    I think mouthy is right. Forget about the WT but pray about it. This depends on if you life would be better with or without her. Imagine your life both ways and decide what would make you happier. You have plenty of grounds for a divorce. Don't worry about that. If you leave her just remember that when you meet someone else, don't rust into things next time.

  • avidbiblereader

    I agree with mouthy and want to add this point, it doesn't sound as if you KNOW who you are yet being able to KNOW someone else from either marriage material or otherwise. Take time to get to know yourself and pray about it. Remember the saying "Haste makes Waste"? It might apply here in your circumstances.


  • jgnat

    I'm closing this thread. Follow the link to the other one.

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