Oops.... I Did It Again!

by evetteto 7 Replies latest jw experiences

  • evetteto

    Well I'm really feeling down about jumping all over my husband with all this new info I find here. I'm really upset with myself because I dont want to use this info in a negative way ( as to say aha!...told you so ), but as a means to enlighten him, because of my love for him I had the hoove in mouth disease. However, I was just about shaking my finger in his face and challenged him to "examine his religion". I feel god-awful. I simply lost control, and he was very fooolish in all his remarks. What is sad is that I kept thinking, these things are spiritually discerned how can I expect him to hear the Truth when all this doctrine is grieving God's Holy Soirit that resides in him. I'm just at a lost right now and need words of encouragement.

  • Junction-Guy

    Dont be too hard on yourself, if the tables were turned he would do the same. JW's encourage everyone to examine their own religion, with the exception of JW's themselves. Just try to take things slow, and try to say things in a way that doesnt make you seem "apostate". Good luck----------Dave

  • dmouse

    Oh, I thought this was going to be a Britney Spears thread...

    Anyway, evetteto, like J-G said, take things slow. Choose what you say to your hubby very carefully. Feed 'em like a goldfish; little and often.

    In my experience JWs can experience an information overload that makes them close down forever on the person that caused it. Whatever you say after that will fall on deaf ears.

    As we've all learned, being an apostate doesn't make you a bad person, so being a jw doesn't make you a bad person either, just misled.

    I wish you the best of luck.

  • nonamegiven

    I don't know exactly what your situation is but it sounds similar to mine. I was raised in the.....truth (hard to type that) and married a woman raised the same. Now I'm DF'd and learning tons of real truth. I have a strong urge to let the flood gates open and tell her everything, like I"m sure you do. But let me say this, patience my friend, patience. If you open up on him he will label you apostate quicker than you can say United Nations Scandal. Then he will do what comes naturally, he will defend his faith with fervor like never before. This will make his faith stronger by reinforcing the things he believes as well as proving that the scociety was right, that he will be persecuted for his faith. Worst of all, he will distance himself from you, at least in terms of religion, and if you EVER want to make head-way, this is not good.

  • J-ex-W

    Honestly, I think the best thing would be to go back and apologize for getting heated up and behaving in a manner that you're not proud of. Tell him that you love him and respect his feelings and opinions and want to be able to have a peaceable relationship. Tell him you will work on it to the best of your ability...will do your best to not let your feelings for the subject override your concern for his feelings. And if it gets heated up again, repeat all of the above, only sooner this time. The more you practice this, the better you will get at de-escalating a potentially explosive moment. And the more he will appreciate and respect your efforts to do so. [And gee--you didn't even need a WT or Awake! article from the holy org. to help you build a harmonious relationship with your husband.] Good luck!

  • evetteto

    Well my husband is a born agn christian who feel into sin and a few years ago during our separation, I suppose a jw told him abt the truth and how he can be forgiven ( which I know in their minds is to work and work ) so he's been studying with the for the last 4-5 yrs. He has notbeen batised...I repeat HAS NOT BEEN BATISED. I am a born again christian and when he returned home I was not living such a holy life ( I had a bf). So now I am constantly reminded of the sin I was in when he got here...although I hv recommitted my life back to Christ. I always knew of the brain-washing by the jw's, but it never hit this close to home. I a;ready have my promises from God, its just the moment when I put self into the promises and not allow God to fight my battles...then of course I feel HORRIBLE! But as you know God is Faithful to the faithless and I go to Him and repent for moving and leaning on my own understanding...and He just picks me back up...Hallelujah!!!!! I know this forum is helping me to understand my husband, and it has been peaceful, but today I lost it! I just need to be more patient as God is with me and I cant tell you how Patient. Thank you everyone for your much needed support

  • esw1966

    My 3 daughters are in and I am out. They will be coming to visit me for the first time this Christmas for 10 days!

    It is my BIGGEST desire to help them to see the truth.

    But as it has been explained to me, the best thing that I can do is to show them love, model Christ's example, PRAY, and ask them questions.

    THEY are the ones that will need to see it. YOU need to set the example of love and Christ's example. In time, your husband will begin to open up to you and you can gently lead him as he thinks HE is getting this idea on his own.

    Just thought of the scripture, 'won without a word', 'by her good conduct'.

    Now I just hope that I can live my own advice!!! It is just SO TEMPTING to want to share all the things you have learned. But it can't be that way. That will just have them pushing you farther from you.

    Hope it is of some assistance and I hope that you are successful in helping your husband to see things properly.

    Remember, GOD will do the work. He LOVES us all and is trying to draw us all to Him. By setting a good example and creating a safe environment for questions and frank discussions, you can help him and you can help God.

    Much Success!


  • avidbiblereader

    As apples of gold in silver carving so is a word spoken at the right time said Solomon. Do as others have stated, slowly anything other than that and he will fight and have his defense mechanisim up. Try using thought provoking questions and let HIm come to the conclusion, that way you are not telling him but he is using his own brain and you are training his reasoning abilities. Think about what you want to say or ask and many times it is not what you say but how you say it. Best of wishes and keep the faith.

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