Possessed emails??

by LuciousJ 6 Replies latest jw experiences

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  LuciousJ

  Hi everyone! I haven't been on the forum for quite sometime now. Life is so crazy busy these days as a NON-JW....holidays, birthdays......but it sure is FUN!!!! So, most of you may or may not remember my initial story on here.....left the org, DA'd ourselves & then my mom disowned me. Well, that happened in August and I thought every day would get easier. Surprisingly, it actually hurts more with time. I broke down and sent a letter out to her about 4 pages long with nothing but FACTS and where they came from (literature, scriptures, etc. thanks to the help of a fellow member of JWD). I thought with my heart and just KNEW she'd call me and we could talk about it. To my surprise (I don't know why....just naive I guess), she reacted even more angrily. Here's the funniest thing. I sent my niece an email, very innocent, just a laughing baby from YOUTUBE.COM. Anyway, my niece forwarded it to my mom (who is her grandmother). My mother emails her and says "Do NOT forward anymore emails from J******* and I will only say this once!" OMG......WTF??????????? I mean, is she afraid my emails carry demons that will come into her home and attack her? Or does she really HATE me that much????? I just found this out on Friday and I've been sick over it since. My mom is 63 years old and has really poor health. If she dies hating me, I will never get over it. Any advice? comments? suggestions? stories?

  I greatly appreciate the support-

  LuciousJ
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  What-A-Coincidence

  Hello my west coast friend. Sorry to hear about that. That must be painful.

  I am currently reading Steve Hassan's book "Releasing the Bonds." It's a definite must read for people like us who want to get our family/friends out of a cult.

  -wac
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  skyking

  Possessed emails Yap sounds possessed too me. Possessed my common sense
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  J-ex-W

  LusciousJ-- Sorry you're going through that. I do have one word of advice: Recognize that every new occurrence of rejection will be experienced as a re-wounding [which it is]. As horrible as it sounds, set hope aside--realize that you are doing this for you, and they may NEVER accept your position. They MAY eventually soften attitude toward you, but if you allow yourself to entertain hopes of them getting out--especially anytime soon--you will only set yourself up for a perpetual roller coaster ride.

  Accept that, for now, this is where she/ they are at...and that this is where you are at...and that, for now, there can only be tension and/ or fireworks, hurt and resentment between you. These things only heal with time in a situation such as this, if they ever do heal. Give her time to heal, from the hole she feels you have ripped through her belly in rejecting everything she holds dear.

  Facts have been presented; that only needs to be done once. Let time and her good thinking skills do the rest. If she is not capable of reaching the conclusions on her own, then nothing you do will influence her positively in that direction. Accept that TIME is the only potential convincer. And realize that even if she does die still angry at you, ask yourself: What is the alternative? Going back into the Borg, pretending, and feeling like you are dying inside? Could you ever forgive yourself for putting yourself through that? Remember, stubborn, angry people have a habit of living for a looooooong time. Does your life deserved to be bottled up and put on hold, to appease her?

  The situation hurts like hell. And, yes, the longer it--the separation from people who matter most to you--goes on, the more it DOES hurt!! In this respect, what I do to handle my own situation is to call every once in a while and leave a short message, saying I love you, and that's pretty much it. It helps keep the loneliness and pain on my end down to a manageable level and the anger/ resentment/ lashing back on their end to a minimum. No convincing, no pleading my case, no giving them details of a life they don't want to hear about...just, "I love you. Bye."

  Hope this helps in some way.
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  LuciousJ

  J-ex-W -

  I really am grateful for your post. thank you so much. It helped a lot. I wish you well on your situation too. I wish I could call her and leave a brief message as well but, she demanded that I NOT email or call her home ever again. I guess there really isn't anything I can do but 'hope' one day she'll come around. It's a shame. On the brighter side, we have made so many friends since leaving the org. that I can't even believe it. We & our children are invited to something at least once a week and when we were attending meetings, we were lucky to get invited to anything EVER. We would NEVER go back, not even if it meant having my mom back in my life. As far as I'm concerned.....she's the one suffering, not me and for that reason, I feel sorry for her.
  
  LJ
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  lisavegas420

  (((((LuciousJ)))))) I know exactly how you feel. I haven't seen or talked to my mom or dad in years. She also is 63 and my dad 75. I think about them each and every day. I go back and forth between hurting for what I don't have and accepting that it is their choice. But it will never be ok. It is wrong.

  I am sooo very sorry.

  lisa
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  LuciousJ

  ((((LISA))))

  I am sorry for you too and you couldn't have said it better....."IT IS WRONG!" Can you even imagine how our moms and dads would feel if the tables were turned and WE disowned THEM? How heartbroken they would be. I'm a person who hates to know that I've hurt someone or that they are mad at me and if I did this to my mom and she was as devastated as I am now......I wouldn't be able to sleep at night! I can only 'pray' that eventually, her heart will open and then in return allow her to open her mind.

  Good luck to you.....I'd be glad to exchange p.e.'s for support!
  
  L.J.