The Night Before (a Bethel) Christmas

parakeet

Since this is the season of giving, I've developed a little giftie for JW lurkers and Bethelites, so that they can also enjoy the Christmas season in their own special way.

The Night Before (a Bethel) Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through Bethel
Not a creature was stirring, not even a pedo.....
The Watchtowers were stacked by the doorway with care,
In hopes that Armageddon soon would be there.

The workers were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of destruction danced in their heads.
And my roommate in his straightjacket and I in my madcap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap.

When out on the street there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a demon,
To see what new sin the world was a-dealin'.

When, what to my suspicious eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer.
With a little old pagan, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.

More rapid than eagles I raced down the stairs,
To waylay that sinner before he was aware.
And then in a twinkling, I grabbed hold of his beard,
And thrashed that old gnome till with blood he was smeared.

His eyes-how they swelled shut! his dimples how scary!
His cheeks were like bruises, his nose like a cherry!
Against the top of the porch! Against the top of the wall!
Now dash his brains! Dash his brains! Dash his brains all!

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The neverous pawing of each little hoof.
So I climbed to the roof and threw into East River
The toys and St. Nick without even a quiver.

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meed with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up on the Watchtower I realized with glee,
How to teach the apostates a thing or three.

Soon I was dressed in a suit, from my head to my foot,
And my clothes were all tarnished with printers' ink and soot.
A bundle of tracts I had flung on my back,
And I looked like a book salesman, just opening his pack.

I sprang to the sleigh, to the team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like a heat-seeking missile.
I spoke not a word, but went straight to God's work,
Dropping tracts down the chimneys of each apostate jerk.

I was cheerful and happy spreading God's joy,
Cheating small children of a well-deserved toy.
"They'll wake up to empty stockings on an empty shelf!"
I laughed when I thought of them, in spite of myself!

I flew my team back to Brooklyn at the break of dawn,
Well pleased with the misery I had spawned.
But I yelled one more time, 'ere I ducked out of sight,
"Armageddon is nigh! And reindeer stew tonight!"

The Night Before (a Bethel) Christmas

parakeet

SWALKER

Abandoned

jaguarbass

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