Help me give a reply to the one that is taunting me.
I'm tired of getting these stupid e-mails from JW's.
I was thinking of adding a punch line to each one of the qualifications.
Help me think of more.
I'll then send it back for their enjoyment.
The Kingdom of God is hiring! (I thought the 144,000 was filled by 1935)
Are you ready to apply? Do you qualify?
JOB TITLE: Disciples for Christ
JOB DESCRIPTION: Tell the dying world how to obtain real life through Jesus Christ. (and the WBTS)
NUMBER OF AVAILABLE POSITIONS: Unlimited; everyone is welcomed--preachers, teachers, singers, musicians, missionaries, custodians, food servers, and numerous others that we just can't list them all here .
EXCEPTION TO AVAILABLE POSITIONS: The vacancy of BOSS has already been filled. (by theF&DS?)
QUALIFICATIONS: Must excercise faith in the ransom sacrifice, good heart condition and willing to put on the new personality as Jesus taught.
EXPERIENCE NEEDED: None necessary; experience will be earned through on-the-job training.
EDUCATION: The Holy Spirit will teach you all things.(What about the Governing Body?)
BENEFIT PACKAGE/SALARY: Jehovah God, the employer shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. (Through the bro's and sis's at the KH)
INSURANCE: Access to the Master Physician.
PACKAGE ALSO INCLUDES: Love, joy, peace, patience, long suffering, Lawyer, Comforter, and a Wonderful Counselor.
RECOMPENSE FOR COMPLETING THE JOB ASSIGNMENT: The most important benefit, eternal life.(Final exam at the end of thousand years to determine if you can continue living)
DEADLINE FOR APPLICATIONS: Before the return of Jesus Christ; date/hour not known; wise to apply today.( before visible presence, invisible presence already happened)
IMPORTANT WARNING: Satan and HIS DEMONS need not apply